College Football Open Thread

Do you smell that? That's the fresh smell of an open thread. College football is back baby! This is your first open thread of the season for college football. Let me know if you want an open thread tomorrow for the Boise State v Michigan State game. There will definitely be an open thread on Saturday. You can also talk baseball in this thread or anything else you feel like talking about. Enjoy, leave comments, and don't be a troll.

Here's the Must List.
Here's the schedule via The506.

Must List: Week 1

I realized college football was back this week when I woke up Monday morning and could feel a chill in the air. That's how I always realize college football and the fall are right around the corner. That slight chill. Well we're finally here with the season starting Thursday and we have games through Monday. As always with the Must List these are games that I think are interesting and I will try to persuade you into watching these games with me. Here's this week's Must List.

Thursday, August 30th (All Times Eastern)
South Carolina at Vanderbilt, 7:00 (ESPN: Rece Davis, Jesse Palmer, David Pollack, Samantha Steele): I love how everyone gets hyped up for the beginning of the season and then we're reminded suddenly that the first game of the year usually sucks. Remember South Carolina vs Southern Miss? Or last year's stinker UNLV at Wisconsin? Well the opening game this year actually has some intrigue and should actually be *gasp* good! Vanderbilt is a veteran team that might actually compete this year in the SEC. South Carolina should always be interesting just because of Steve Spurrier. This should be a good game. /crosses fingers //watch this game suck ///thankfully Craig James won't be there to ruin everything

Sacramento State at New Mexico State, 8:00 (Aggie Vision: Glen Cerny, Danny Knee): I add this game for selfish reasons. I'm a Sac State grad so I'm looking forward to actually watching them. Plus Sac Sate upset a bigger opponent last year, Oregon State, so I want to see them do it again. /Watch Sac State get blown out

Washington State at BYU, 10:15 (ESPN: Joe Tessitore, Matt Millen): Mike Leach makes his Washington State debut and Tessitore is on the call! And then there's Matt Millen to ruin everything. Millen won't ruin my complete and utter joy at the fact the Pirate is back and facing off against a solid BYU team.

Baseball Broadcaster Impressions: Tampa Bay

Continuing the Baseball Broadcaster Impressions Project today with a look at the Tampa Bay Rays broadcasting teams.

TV Broadcasters: Dewayne Staats, Brian Anderson, Todd Kalas

I've watched more Rays games this year than I care to admit to so I have to be honest, I still have no idea what to make of their TV crew. Todd Kalas is great (more on him in a second) but I don't really know what to make of Staats and Anderson.

This doesn't mean Staats and Anderson are bad broadcasters or boring. I guess what I'm trying to say I just get a "meh" feeling listening to both of them. Staats I will admit has a great voice. I would listen to a 50 Shades of Grey audio book if Staats is the narrator. Staats though over relies on MLB game notes during the broadcast and isn't the best storyteller. Half of the time I barely even recognize him in the booth.

Brian Anderson is only in his 2nd year of analysis work. Like all former pitchers he's great at breaking down what a pitcher is doing while sometimes struggles breaking down what a hitter is doing. Anderson will also sometimes succumb to giggling fits you have to look past, but they can be easily ignored. I'll give Staats and Anderson credit for this though, they at least try to keep up with advanced stats without mocking them.

Baseball Broadcaster Impressions: St. Louis

Continuing the Baseball Broadcaster Impressions Project today with a look at the St. Louis Cardinals broadcasting team. 

 TV Broadcasters: Dan McLaughlin, Al Hrabosky, and Ricky Horton

 I've watched more Cardinals games this year than I really should have. And you need know is that there isn't a single distinguishable trait that makes the Cardinals broadcasters stand out. None. Nadda. Zip.

In fact, especially when Hrabosky is announcing, you barely notice the announcers are there. Dan McLaughlin calls the play-by-play. If you need to take a nap listen to McLaughlin who might be the best sleeping pill this side of Matt Underwood and Rick Manning. McLaughlin is very capable of calling the game, there isn't anything special about him after that.

Hrabosky is as stupid as he is boring. I think Hrabosky says stupid things to see if we're paying attention to the game. Because you can sit there listening to the broadcast and almost fall asleep and then you hear something like, "Kyle Lohse knows how to pitch", and then you immediately wake up and go "whoa that's stupid."

ESPN Secures Red Sox And Yankees Rights

Sports Business Journal is reporting this morning that ESPN will keep their package of MLB games for Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday nights. That isn't what is important about this deal. What is important is that ESPN has also bought the Red Sox and Yankees broadcasting rights.

"ESPN also picked up rights to carry games featuring more popular teams, like the Yankees and Red Sox, more frequently."

More frequently? More Frequently?!? MORE FREQUENTLY?!?!? What the fuck does that mean? You can't watch ESPN one week without seeing a Yankees or Red Sox game. So what does more frequently mean? Did ESPN buy the Red Sox and Yankees broadcasting rights? Will ESPN rotate Yankee and Red Sox so one night there's Michael Kay calling games and then there's Don Orsillo calling games the next day?

While it's good that baseball can still demand big money for their broadcasting rights, I don't know how good idea it is to give ESPN the rights to carry games featuring "more popular teams." Because all that means will get used to 80 to 100 games a year on our network that are only Red Sox and Yankees games.

(Via Sports Business Journal)

Talkin' Baseball: Dodgers Pretending To Be Players & Nats Implosion

49er16: How cute are the Dodgers? They think they're major players now even though they owe over 100 million dollars to players over 30-years old. 

The Colonel: I love these new Dodger owners. I like how they think, "You know what we need to do? We need to improve our team by adding over 100 million dollars of contracts to our payroll from a team that has underachieved all year." They're like men who think they'll fine love in a strip club. 

49er16: From a Giants perspective how much does this worry you? 

The Colonel: This year it does worry me. Gonzalez is playing well and Beckett could improve just from the whole change of scenery deal. Crawford doesn't worry me because he's a speed guy who's getting older. In the long run though it will be interesting to see what the Dodgers do in free agency. Where they could hurt the Giants is in International signings. 

49er16: Gonzalez though has a history of playing poorly in the 2nd half of the season and my memory could be off but I don't remember him having a big September when two of his former teams were in the playoff hunt. 

The Colonel: All the Giants can do is continue winning each series they play, beat Los Angeles 4 games out of the 6 they play against each other, and that should be good enough to win the division. The Wild Card could also be had but they better not hold out for that spot. Lock up the division and some sort of home field advantage. 

Book Club: Where's The Point Where You Stop Reading?

One of the great things about McCovey Chronicles is that the comment threads almost never stay on the topic of baseball or the Giants. Most of the time the discussions break down into music, TV, movies, and other talk that isn't baseball. One of the favorite discussions there is on books.

The other day I talked about reading Denis Johnson's "Tree of Smoke" and about how I was going to stop reading this book. To my surprise I wasn't the only person there who has stopped reading a book before the end.

"Tree of Smoke" is a behemoth of a book (700 page paperback) that is about a Psy Ops CIA agents in Vietnam during the war. There are other characters as well who are all somehow connected to the Psy Ops. And the book's title is a reference to all their faith during the war.

To be fair to this book was crushed by my own expectations. I read about Psy Ops, CIA, Vietnam War and my radar went up. The book had my interest. I've always had a fascination with history, wars, and espionage. So I became exited to read this book.

300 pages in and I can't see what the actual plot is to this book? Now I fully admit I'm stupid and probably don't get the point of this book, but after 300 pages you'd think I would get the point by now. The book halfway through to me is just rambling nonsense.

Do I stop reading "Tree of Smoke" though? I'm halfway through a book I don't like but I'm torn if I should quit reading this book. Maybe I'll understand the grand point of this book if I continue reading? Maybe the book still has interesting sections that I haven't covered yet?

Where is the point though when you stop reading a book though? For me with "Tree of Smoke" the point where I had to just take a break from reading it was around page 350 when I became frustrated with what I perceived to be a lack of a plot.

What's your breaking point though? Do you stop reading when you can't find the point of a novel? Do you stop when you become frustrated with the language? (Faulkner or McCarthy books can be frustrating reads because of the language.) Have you read a book that you just didn't like and stopped reading it? Also what books did you stop reading and why?

Must List: Must Watch Games

The Must List has always been just an arbitrary list of college football games that are a personally must watch for myself. They might not be games that you're interested in, but they're the games I'm interested in and since this is my blog, screw you.

I've already made my predictions for this season, but I haven't gotten to the meat and potatoes of what the actual Must List is. So without further ado, here's are my must watch games of 2012.

Non-Conference Games
Navy vs. Notre Dame, September 1st: This game only makes the list because it will be played in Dublin, Ireland and Uncle Verne will be calling the action. I'm giddy in anticipation over the face Uncle Verne might be hungover while calling this game.

Michigan vs Alabama, September 1st: Last year it was Oregon who was the sacrificial lamb to the SEC at Cowboys Stadium. This year it's Michigan. I realize Michigan is much improved and their offense is loaded and facing a rebuilding Bama defense, but does anyone expect a Michigan victory in this game? I certainly don't.

Boise State at Michigan State, August 31st: Boise State once against starts the year off on the road versus a BCS opponent. Both of these teams are rebuilding so this game could go either way. Still I won't be surprised if Boise State wins because they always win their big non-conference games.

Miami vs Notre Dame, October 6th: It might not be the late 80's anymore and Jimmy Johnson and Lou Holtz might be enjoying retirement, that doesn't mean though Cons vs Catholics won't be exciting! Okay so this game will probably be a drag, but can't I at least be nostalgic?

Baseball Broadcaster Impressions: Cincinnati

Continuing the Baseball Broadcaster Impressions Project today with a look at the Cincinnati Reds broadcasting team.

TV Broadcasters: Thom Brennaman and Chris Welsh

Everyone has a reason why they don't like T-Hom Brennaman. Maybe it's because of his over-the-top love he showed Tebow during the national championship game a few years back ("Spend 10 to 15 minutes with Tebow and you'll be better for it.") Maybe T-Hom ruins an NFL Sunday for you when he's calling a game for whatever team you're rooting for. Or maybe he ruins a Fox Saturday baseball game for you because he's it's also a Reds game so he's clearly biased. (This happened to me last year when he called a Reds-Giants game.) Either way if you spend 10 to 15 minutes listening to Thom Brennaman your life isn't better because of it.

Here's another reason to hate T-Hom, he also ruins Reds broadcasts. The Reds are one of the best teams in the majors this season so I like to watch them. Only every time the experience is ruined because that smug asshole T-Hom is calling the game.

And smug is the appropriate word to describe T-Hom while calling Reds games. He's Bob Carpenter on Steroids. T-Hom is a fine broadcaster of baseball, he obviously has been around the game his entire life, but the smugness that radiates out of the screen because of him and it's too much to take.

Baseball Broadcaster Impressions: Baltimore

Continuing the Baseball Broadcaster Impressions Project today with a look at the Baltimore Orioles broadcasting teams.

TV broadcasters: Gary Thorne and Jim Palmer

A lot of people don't know this, but I started following hockey in the mid-90's because of Gary Thorne. Not because of Jaime Baker's goal against the Red Wings in the playoffs. There was something about Thorne's voice and tempo that was perfect for hockey. (Thorne in my opinion would also be a great soccer announcer.) Every since then I've loved Thorne.

And I love Thorne calling Baltimore Orioles games but for other reasons. When Thorne is calling a baseball game he's like an old throwback to the days of Harry Caray. You never know how much Thorne has had to drink before or during the game, but he gets better as the innings go along. The only problem with Thorne is sometimes he has a hard time identifying pitches, but that's only a small nitpick.

Thorne's partner is Jim Palmer. I've stated this a million times on Twitter but let me say it again, I'm amazed at how young Jim Palmer looks. A man in his late 60's shouldn't look like Jim Palmer. He just shouldn't. Palmer the analyst isn't bad either. Palmer like many former pitchers turned broadcaster is at his best breaking down what the pitchers are doing, Palmer is just a little long-winded though. I can look past that.

My only real complaint about Thorne and Palmer is that they are basically part time announcers. Or at least they are part time announcers this season because I can't even count how many times with my fingers that either one of both of them are gone. And I'm sorry but when you go from Thorne/Palmer to Jim Hunter and Mike Bordick, that's like going from Led Zeppelin to Nickleback.

Talkin' Baseball: Fake Websites, Long Games, & Terrible Angels

49er16: I went from being mad at Melky Cabrera to laughing at him. What a con artist!

The Colonel: You know if I ever get close to being fired, I'm definitely creating a fake website to prove that the case I fucked up was actually a case belonging to someone else. WHAT CAN GO WRONG THERE?

49er16: Melky reminds me of De Niro in Heat. Once he feels the "heat" he's going to create a fake website to prove his innocence. Then he's going to have a shootout in Los Angeles with Matt Kemp trying to stop him.

The Colonel: Melky should have went with the Manny Ramirez excuse. Say that he was trying to get pregnant.

49er16: "Oh no doctor I was using Testosterone to counterattack the estrogen in my system because of this pregnancy  I swear!"

The Colonel: I also liked Bochy's response to this whole thing. "What do you expect from me? Am I suppose to hold his hand 24/7?"

49er16: "Melky had his big boy pants on. You put on your big boy pants one leg at a time and then you brush your teeth in the morning."

The Colonel: "Belt needs to borrow Melky's big boy pants now. We don't need his slumpy shoulders around here. He's bringing everyone down."

Must List: College Football Predictions

I cannot believe we're less than two weeks away from the start of the college football season. Seems just like yesterday Alabama and LSU were staging one of the worst national championships ever. A lot has changed since then. The BCS ceases to exist. Penn State has burned to the ground. There was more conference realignment. Other conference realignment has kicked in. And my interest in college football and waned.

I loved college football in years past but that love has gone away. A combination of reasons can explain this. Conference realignment affected me more than I thought it would. I admit to being hokey, so seeing teams completely destroy their local rivalries to join a bigger conference was like a kick to the gut for me. I'm sorry but I enjoy Kansas vs Missouri. That's gone now and I'm sorry but Missouri vs Tennessee or Kentucky isn't the same.

The Giants actually being competitive has changed my outlook at college football as well. When the Giants sucked I counted down the days until football started. Watching losing baseball all summer will drive anyone to football. And in my case the 49ers also sucked so at least I had college football.

When you lose interest in the sport you also stop keeping track of player and coach movements. For example I had no idea Terry Bowden is now the Akron coach. I would have known this a few years ago. When your time is occupied though by another sport you lose track.

So I've devoured over previews for college football previews recently trying to catch up on everything that has happened in college football since January besides the Honey Badger getting kicked off of LSU's team. I had to catch up to 8 months of happenings.

Cynical Bunch

Giants fans are born cynical. And why shouldn't we be cynical? Disaster always looms around the corner when it comes to the Giants. Whether it's Dave Dravecky's arm exploding, Buster Posey's shattered ankle, Solomon Torres in Game 162, 89 Earthquake, Jeffrey Leonard pissing off the Cardinals, or Dusty Baker handing Russ Ortiz the game ball on the fucking mound. Disaster is always lurking.

Even with 2010 there was cynicism. Lincecum was a disaster in August of that year, we threw a fit when Sabean traded Joe Martinez and John Bowker for left-handed specialist Javier Lopez, and the Padres owned the Giants. We were cyclical until the final out of game 5.

Take last night for example. The Giants finally rolled out a lineup featuring Marco Scutaro, Melky Cabrera, Buster Posey, Pablo Sandoval, Hunter Pence, and Brandon Belt in the middle of the lineup. Not the greatest lineup in the world, but deeper than anything the Dodgers can roll out. We were cynical though. Bochy would screw with the lineup when someone struggled. Pablo would get hurt again. Belt would be sent to Siberia. We knew it was too good to be true.

And as it turned out, it was too good to be true. At Noon on Wednesday Melky Cabrera was suspended for 50 games (the rest of the season) for testing positive for Testosterone. Melky immediately admitted guilt and began serving the suspension. Too good to be true.

I sat in the office depressed the rest of the afternoon and thankfully when I arrived at the Mos Eisley Cantina everyone else was depressed as well. How could I tell by just walking into the door? The Colonel and Bandit were drinking Vodka and not eating. The drink of the depressed.

"I guess I'll also have a Vodka cranberry, Boz," I said to the bar's owner.

"Last night was too good to be true, Keith," said the Colonel looking like his dog was just killed. "Just when the Giants actually fielded a good lineup and won, this happen."

"We can't have good things Colonel," said the Bandit.

This is definitely true. The Giants can't have nice things. Can't have Dave Dravecky for the 89 World Series. Can't win over 100 games and make the playoffs. Can't have Barry Bonds win a world series. Can't even win the 2010 World Series without defending the team because everyone says they were "lucky" in the first place for winning that title.

Giants fans can't just sit back and enjoy their team. There has to be something that gives us anxiety and makes us want to curl up in the fetal position. You're born into this life as a Giants fan and you're going to die as a cynical Giants fan. It's the way of life.

"Well how much is this really going to hurt the team?" I ask trying to rationalize everything. "Belt is finally producing, Posey has been the best hitter since the All-Star break, we finally have stability at 2nd, and Pence can hit a few home runs."

I receive looks from the crew like I just ate a glass bottle. Rationalizing anything with the Giants can be a scary proposition because there will always be a rebuttal.

"Well it would be alright if Pence wasn't a hacker, Posey wasn't catching, and Bochy's distrust of Belt," snaps back The Colonel.

This is where the loss of Melky does scare me. Posey will start playing everyday and get worn down. Posey will continue starting at 1st, taking Belt's bat out of the lineup and inserting the hackerific Hector Sanchez into the lineup, and Pence is a hacker who goes hot and cold.

I could handle this suspension and impending doom if it weren't for the thought of the Dodgers competing with the Giants for first. We got to mock the Dodgers when Manny failed his drug test and now they get to mock us. I guess there is some poetic justice in there. I don't like it though.

We didn't hardly speak to each other the rest of the night at the Cantina. When you're drinking Vodka, or Tequila, you don't feel like speaking. You just want to sit there and let the cynicism flow through you.

"We can't have nice things," the Bandit continues saying in an almost catatonic state.

Thankfully Hard Knocks Filmed This

Chad Johnson, beater of wives, was cut by the Miami Dolphins. And thankfully the Hard Knocks cameras caught every last second of this uncomfortable exchange between Johnson and Dolphins coach Joe Philbin




My favorite part of this whole ordeal was that idiot Skip Bayless blasting Philbin for giving Johnson a "low blow" by cutting him.

Just watched "Hard Knocks." What a low blow for Philbin to call in an extremely apologetic Chad Johnson at his lowest moment - and cut him.
— Skip Bayless (@RealSkipBayless) August 15, 2012

Hey Skipper it's nice to see you're not sucking Tebow's cock 24/7, but now you're seriously blasting a coach who cut a wife beater? Seriously? You wanna know what a "low blow" is? Hitting a woman. That's a low blow.

I'll admit though to being surprised that out of Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, and Chad Johnson that Johnson was the one cut first. I'm going to predict that both Owens and Moss will also be cut before the end of the season.

(Via The Big Lead)

Harvest

When Tom arrived at the meeting pad to prepare for the day's harvest he saw the owner of the rice field Jerry yelling at another harvester worker. "Manuel how many times do I have to tell?", Jerry screaming and pointing at Manuel the other worker. "When something breaks down immediately tell me. Machinery breaks, it's a part of this life but I have to know immediately."

"I'm sorry sir," Manuel quietly says with his head pointed towards the ground like a scalded dog. "It won't happen again."

"Okay then," Jerry says more calmly since seeing he hurt Manuel's feelings. "Good luck today. I'll be back around noon with everyone's lunches."

Jerry nods at Tom while turning away from Manuel and gets into his Ford pickup. Jerry farms 500 acres of rice and 500 acres of walnuts. He's busy with the walnuts right now trying to prepare the orchards for harvest by mowing the grass between the trees. Jerry a very gracious employee always brings Manuel, the bank-out drivers, and myself lunch each day around Noon while we're harvesting the rice. It's usually just a sandwich but the thought is appreciated.

"Everything alright Manuel?" I ask the Mexican man with the short body, chubby midsection, and wrinkled face.

"Si," Manuel says. "The stripper header stopped properly working last night and I forgot to tell Jerry before I went home."

"Is it fixed?"

"Si, but after Jerry expected the equipment this morning he noticed the belt was broken. Thankfully it was a quick fix."

Jerry is using a stripper-header instead of the conventional header also known as a grain platform. The stripper-header strips the rice off the stock instead of cutting the stock and sending the plant through the thresher to sort out the stock and the grain. With the rice not blown over by the wind and with the price of rice hay doubling since last year Jerry figures he can make money on two crops. The actual rice and the plants left over for hay.

"Have a good day Manuel," Tom said as he climbed into his John Deere CTS combine. It was going to be a long day. Tom would be harvesting for 12 hours with only a short little break for lunch.

Like a lot of kids born in small farming towns, Tom was unable to escape the clutches of the small town he grew up in. Not even attending college six hours away and receiving a degree in physiology could keep him from coming back.

Tom had to come back though after college. His father had become ill with cancer and needed Tom to provide for his mother and younger sister who was still in high school and hoping to attend the same college as Tom. Tom had many conversations with his sister about leaving this town and never looking back when she was old enough. Her plans to go to his college reassured him and drove him to provide for her, his mother, and sick father.

Baseball Broadcaster Impressions: Minnesota

The baseball broadcaster impressions project returns today with a look at the Minnesota Twins broadcasting team. 

TV crew: Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven

These two might be the most "meh" crew in the majors. They're not boring enough to be Cleveland Indians bad. They're good enough to be ranked with the Mets crew or Giants crew. They're not big enough homers to be ranked with Hawk. They're just "meh".

The "meh" has to start with Dick Bremer who doesn't bring anything to the table but also doesn't take anything away from the table. He's a homer but it's not over-the-top like Hawk. Bremer's greatest contribution is that he just calls the game and gets out of the way for Blyleven. Other than that though Bremer doesn't bring much to the booth.

I always expected more out of Blyleven. I guess I expected too much. Maybe because the Twins are bad Blyleven isn't as good as a broadcaster, because I really didn't hear nothing special while listening to him. Like Bremer, Blyleven is mostly "meh". He's a homer but it's not obvious like Hawk. He's funny, but not side hurting funny like Jon Miller or Mike Krukow. Blyleven can break down pitching mechanics, but so can Mike Krukow and Brian Anderson. There's just nothing there that sets Blyleven apart.

Talkin' Baseball: Experimenting on Pence, Heat Charts, & Delorean's

49er16: After watching Pence hitting the game-winning home run yesterday, I've decided I want to study Hunter Pence. Baseball Hunter Pence to be specific. Everything about baseball Hunter Pence is goofy and should be studied for science.

The Colonel: And while they're studying Pence, take a look at Belt. He's another goofy son of a bitch.

49er16: They're both from Texas so maybe it's something in the water down there? Specifically the southern part of Texas where they're both from?

The Colonel: Maybe they're twins that were separated at birth? Maybe it was destiny to pair them up on a team?

49er16: I hope that is true. The Giraffe and the Platypus. Together forever and always in our hearts.

The Colonel: Look at you getting poetic.

Yep, The Lakers Are Still The Lakers

If I needed another reason to hate the Lakers, this is it.

Lakers Get: Dwight Howard, Chris Duhon, Earl Clark
76ers Get: Andrew Bynum, Jason Richardson
Nuggets Get: Andre Iguodala
Magic Get: Crap

Let's break this down a litter farther.

Magic: Amazing to me the Magic held out as long as they did trading Howard and they still got shit back for him. Not even the "protected" draft picks are that great because they're "protected" meaning if the either the Lakers or Philly become bad enough that they fall into the lottery, they keep the picks and the Magic get nothing. The Magic also wanted to get rid of their salary cap space clogging contracts and didn't even get rid of the worst one, Hedo. Add to the fact they didn't get Bynum and the Magic might have pulled off the worst trade in all of sports history.

Nuggets: The Nuggets sneaked into this trade and grabbed Iguodala creating what could be one of the funnier teams to watch next season. Lawson, Faried, Javale, Andre Miller, Gallinari, and Iguodala is going to be great fun to watch. Too bad the Nuggets will still not be able to get out of the first round..........

76ers: There are pros and cons to this trade

Con- Bynum and Doug Collins smells like trouble. Collins, a notorious asshole, teaming up with someone who trolls the shit out of his own coaches has disaster written all over it. I can only imagine Bynum doing this leading Collins to do this. I might buy League Pass just to witness this moment. You know it's going to happen.

Pro- Philly has a history of adopting troublemakers. Broad Street Bullies, Iverson, Lenny Dykstra, etc. Bynum couldn't pick a better city to play for.

Con- Philly fans turn on Bynum the first time he gets hurt or they have enough of his act. Then this will end badly no matter what. (And once Philly fan turns, it's over. See: TO, JD Drew, Lindross)

Pro- Bynum instantly makes this team interesting to watch. Philly made the playoffs last year but they weren't always the funniest or most interesting team to watch. Bynum at least makes them interesting.

Lakers: Like the Sixers there are pros and cons to this deal.

Pro- Lakers receive one of the 5 best players in the league and the best center of the league when there aren't a lot of centers in the NBA at the moment. Lakers also get Howard in his prime, will keep him during his prime, and then can get rid of him when he's no longer useful and trade for Anthony Davis (I'll guarantee Davis somehow ends up with the Lakers in 8 years). I hate the Lakers.

Con- Howard is coming off back surgery. He's a professional athlete and will probably recover from this and not have to worry about it again. (Just my luck Howard will never have a back problem again.) Still though it's back surgery. Bad backs usually don't go away.

Pro- Somehow the Lakers kept Pau Gasol. So not only do the Lakers have someone who can play 5 feet in front of the basket, but they also kept one of the few players who legitimately can play away from the basket because he has low post moves. I hate the Lakers.

Con- Steve Nash and Kobe Bryant are the combined age of my father.

Pro- Nash pick-and-rolling with Howard and Gasol.

Con- Bryant still jacking up 25 shots a night and forgetting about Howard and Gasol. (What am I saying? This is actually a pro!)

It's amazing but the Lakers are still the Lakers. If there's a player they really want, they'll get him somehow unless Stern vetoes the trade. This is a big reason why I've always had a love/hate relationship with the NBA. Love the athleticism and beauty of the NBA, hate the fact there are only a couple of teams each year that are contenders. The Lakers are a contender with this move.

Talkin' Baseball: Get Off Clint's Baseball Field

(Note: The Colonel and I had an emergency Talkin' Baseball since this trailer for a baseball movie involving Clint Eastwood Debuted yesterday.)
 

49er16: Man Clint Eastwood went from co-staring with Lee Van Cleef to Justin Timberlake. What a fall.

The Colonel: I love how Eastwood went from cranky old man with an old car to cranky old man on a baseball field. Good God I hope he calls Amy Adams a "broad" or a "dame" during that movie. It would be too perfect.

49er16: "HEY BROAD GET OFF OF MY BASEBALL FIELD! NO GURLS ALLOWED!"

The Colonel: "THERE'S NO CRYING, TAMPONS, OR BETTY CROCKER HERE MISSY. NOW BEAT IT BEFORE I WHIP YOUR ASS."

"What If" The Indians Didn't Suck?

Last year the Indians were actually a competitive team until the Detroit Tigers blew past them for the AL Central crown. The Indians decided that their marketing campaign this year should be "What If". You know like "What If" the Indians actually stay competitive the entire year? Well the Indians once again started out as a competitive team but were soon blown by both the Tigers and White Sox. Now the Indians have lost 11 in a row and are 10.5 games out of first and nowhere near a wild card spot. And let's just say the natives are now making fun of the "What If" marketing campaign...............



If only there was a Lebron image in that montage it would have been perfect. That being said this video is terribly depressing. I think I need to take a cold shower after watching it.

(Via Deadspin)

Baseball Broadcaster Impressions: Texas

Continuing the Baseball Broadcaster Impressions project today with a look at the Texas Rangers broadcasting teams. 

TV Broadcasters: Dave Barnett, Steve Busby, Tom Grieve

Since Dave Barnett is out the rest of the year with a migraine, I'm just going to look at the Busby-Grieve combo for the TV side.

I have to admit I'm always curious when a former player handles the play-by-play duties instead of being the analyst. Some former players turn out to be great announcers. They don't talk too much about their careers or what they would do in a certain situation. They let the analyst do their job. (Think Duane Kuiper or Jerry Coleman)

And then there are the horrendous former players turned announcers. Either they don't completely grasp the duty of calling a game or point towards the obvious (Dan Gladden on the Twins radio crew first comes to mind for me) or they're horrendous homers (Hawk Harrelson obviously).

Thankfully Steve Busby is in the latter category. The former Royals pitcher has the great ability to just call the game, doesn't get in the way of Tom Grieve, and isn't a cheerleader for the team. My one complaint is that he doesn't banter that much with Grieve but this can be excused because Busby wasn't suppose to be the TV announcer at the beginning of the year.

2012 ESPN College Football Announcer Pairings

I saw this ESPN press release this morning and completely forgot that college football is about to start around the corner (along with the NFL). The Olympics and MLB have taken my mind off the thought that yeah we're less than a month away from college football. Anyway here are the 2012 ESPN college football announcer pairings.

Let's go over the changes first:

-Chris Spielman is replacing Matt Millen as Sean McDonough's partner for the ABC afternoon games.

-Brian Griese will replace Spielman with Dave Pasch for the ESPN morning game.

-Millen will work with Joe Tessitore on a select Primetime package on ESPN

-Carter Blackburn will replace Tessitore on Friday nights.

-Ed Cunningham will now work with Mike Patrick on ABC afternoon games

-Danny Kanell (who used to work with Pam Ward, RIP Pammy's college football days) will also move to the ABC afternoon games with Bob Wischusen*.

*If you're counting at home. All three ABC afternoon games have new analysts.

-David Pollack replaces Craig James on the Thursday night game to work alongside Rece Davis and Jesse Palmer

-Joey Galloway will work the ESPN 2 Noon crappy Big Ten game with Beth Mowins.

- A new team of Tom Hart and John Congemi will now call the ESPNU noon game.

- Brock Huard replaces Bob Davie on the ESPN2 night game with Mark Jones.

-Matt Stinchcomb will call the ESPNU primetime game with Clay Matvick

I feel bad for Joe Tessitore. He's a genuinely good announcer and now he's stuck with Millen. I also feel bad for Cunningham who is  now stuck with Mike Patrick. I feel good for McDonough who doesn't have to work with Millen anymore. I don't care much for Blackburn so I don't know how much of the Friday night games I'll watch now. It's nice seeing a Griese with Pasch again on the morning game.

Also of note this is going to be weird not having Pam in our lives. Pam Ward has been a part of my life since 2006 when I really started following college football in a hardcore way. She was soooooooo bad she was good. RIP Pammy.

Here's the master schedule of announcers:

Game Telecast	Play-by-play	Analyst	Reporter
Saturday Night Football (on ABC)	Brent Musburger	Kirk Herbstreit	TBA
ESPN College Football Primetime (Saturday)	Brad Nessler	Todd Blackledge	Holly Rowe
ESPN Saturday Prime Time	Joe Tessitore	Matt Millen	Jessica Mendoza, Shelley Smith or Shannon Spake
ESPN2 College Football Primetime(Saturday)	Mark Jones	Brock Huard	Jessica Mendoza or Shelley Smith
ESPNU Saturday Prime Time	Clay Matvick	Matt Stinchcomb	Allison Williams
ESPN College Football Primetime(Thursday)	Rece Davis	Jesse Palmer and David Pollack	Samantha Steele
ESPN and ESPN2 Friday	Carter Blackburn	Rod Gilmore	Jemele Hill
ABC Saturday Afternoon	Sean McDonough	Chris Spielman	Quint Kessenich
ABC Saturday Afternoon	Mike Patrick	Ed Cunningham	Jeannine Edwards
ABC Saturday Afternoon	Bob Wischusen	Danny Kanell	Maria Taylor
ESPN College Football (Saturday afternoon)	Dave Pasch	Brian Griese	Jenn Brown
ESPN2 College Football (Saturday afternoon)	Beth Mowins	Joey Galloway
ESPNU Saturday Afternoon	Tom Hart	John Congemi
ESPNU Saturday Afternoon	Anish Shrof	Dan Hawkins
ESPNU Thursday (HBCU)	Joe Davis	Jay Walker
ESPNU Late Saturday (HBCU)	Joe Davis	Jay Walker
ESPN Radio	Bill Rosinski	David Norrie	Joe Schad
SEC Network (ESPN Regional Television syndicated games)	Dave Neal	Andre Ware	Cara Capuano
BIG EAST Network (ESPN Regional Television syndicated games)	Eamon McAnaney	David Diaz-Infante	Paul Carcaterra

(Via the ESPN Media Zone)

Talkin' Baseball: Feeding Ducks, Dodgers Future & Olympic Talk

49er16: After watching this video, who on the Giants could see going full on Tony Soprano feeding ducks in his bath robe and then immediately have a panic attack?

The Colonel: Zito I believe is the logical choice. I could see him feeding ducks in his backyard wearing nothing but a robe after just finishing a plate of eggs and avocados. My 2nd choice is obviously Belt because he already has "bad body language".

49er16: Damn you. I was going to say Belt because of the whole "body language" issue Bochy loves to bring up. Zito is another good choice. I could picture Zito feeding the ducks while Bumgarner is trying to shoot them.

The Colonel: Then one of them would go to therapy and Bochy as the counselor would tell them, "toughen up pussies". You know he would.

49er16: Bochy: "THIS IS A MAN'S GAME! DON'T SLUMP YOUR SHOULDERS WHEN YOU STRIKE OUT AROUND ME. I'LL KICK YOUR ASS FROM HERE TO TIJUANA. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, DRINK A BEER, AND PLAY SOME BALL."

The Colonel: Yeah he would make Jimmy Dugan look sympathetic in a therapy session. "WHAT'S THIS CRYING BULLSHIT? DO YOU THINK I CRIED WHEN I WAS CUT? NOPE. I JUST PUT MY HEAD UP AND ACCEPTED IT."

Baseball Broadcaster Impressions: Detroit

Continuing the baseball broadcaster impressions project today with a look at the Detroit Tigers announcing crews.

TV Announcers: Mario Impemba and Rod Allen

After a couple of years of my friend RJBO telling me how mediocre the Tigers TV crew is, I knew I had to watch quite a few Tigers games before making my judgement on them for the impressions project. Is Impemba as mediocre as he says? Is Rod Allen as bad as he says?

Well I couldn't agree more with RJBO on Impemba being mediocre. Impemba doesn't take anything off the table during a broadcast like Hawk Harrelson, but he also doesn't bring anything to the table. Well Impemba does bring one thing to the table, reading from the game notes. I know all the broadcasters use the game notes during the broadcast, maybe to point something out by a player, but they don't use them like they're a script like Impemba. It's annoying and distracting from the game.

Book Club: Faulkner and Wikipedia

There are many different methods I use when picking books to read. I started reading Cormac McCarthy after watching 'No Country For Old Men'. I also like gathering people's opinions on books and authors. I'll usually ask my friend kt1000 his opinion because I trust his judgement as well as the McCovey Chronicles community their opinions. 

I also admittedly look up books on Wikipedia. I know this isn't the best way to judge whether I should read a book or not because Wikipedia is not always that accurate. I go to Wikipedia more for a general idea of what a book is about or the themes an author explores. 

Why am I bringing this up? Because I want to talk about William Faulkner. The people at McCovey Chronicles talk about books a lot. What books to read and what books to avoid. During one of these discussions I brought up the fact that I'm on a Hemingway kick and that I was thinking of moving on to Faulkner. I was told by a couple of people to avoid Faulkner because he's too preachy, his prose to difficult to enjoy. 

I asked Kris for his opinion and he said he enjoyed The Sound and the Fury and Intruder in the Dust. Shelby Foote quotes Intruder in the Dust during the Gettysburg episode of Ken Burns' Civil War. 

Then I looked up Faulkner on Wikipedia. It's clear reading the synopsis' of Faulkner's books he devoted a lot of time and energy talking about race, the plantation system during slavery, families struggling to keep their mini-empires together, Jim Crow Laws, and forbidden love. 

The synopsis that interested me the most was Absalom, Absalom!. I won't give away what Wikipedia says but let's just that it interested me enough to buy a 1 cent copy of Absalom,Absalom! on Amazon. And I would be lying if the title didn't draw me to this book because the story of Absalom or the wayward son didn't fascinate me in bible study. 

Let's just say after about 20 pages I was hooked. As everyone has told me, Faulkner is a master at crafting sentences. In Absalom, Absalom! though Faulkner points out pretty quickly that there aren't going to be many sympathetic characters here folks. It's beautiful and a little chilling reading about such awful people. 

My only nit-pick with the book is that Faulkner loves himself some very long paragraphs. Like two page paragraphs. This can make a book just a tad bit hard to read. That's a small nit-pick though and shouldn't stop you from reading Absalom, Absalom!. 

Ultimately books are like anything else in life. You have to try it before knowing if you love something or hate something. You can ask someone for their opinions but you have to make the final decision and you'll never truly know what you feel until you try. I've read Faulkner and I liked his writing and story. And I'm going to read another one of his books soon. 

"That's A Clown Miss, Bro"

Even after trading away their entire team yesterday, the Phillies actually looked like the Phillies of old. Who knew getting rid of a couple of players would result in Cliff Lee actually receiving run support? Phillies were also helped out by clown bro Bryce Harper when he goofed up trying to catch a Jimmy Rollins pop up.



"That's a clown miss, bro." One thing we can cross off in the Trout-Harper debate is the fact that Trout is a much better defensive player than Harper. Or at least I can by just watching that one play. Screw the numbers. Eye judgement!