August 20, 2012

Talkin' Baseball: Fake Websites, Long Games, & Terrible Angels

49er16: I went from being mad at Melky Cabrera to laughing at him. What a con artist!

The Colonel: You know if I ever get close to being fired, I'm definitely creating a fake website to prove that the case I fucked up was actually a case belonging to someone else. WHAT CAN GO WRONG THERE?

49er16: Melky reminds me of De Niro in Heat. Once he feels the "heat" he's going to create a fake website to prove his innocence. Then he's going to have a shootout in Los Angeles with Matt Kemp trying to stop him.

The Colonel: Melky should have went with the Manny Ramirez excuse. Say that he was trying to get pregnant.

49er16: "Oh no doctor I was using Testosterone to counterattack the estrogen in my system because of this pregnancy  I swear!"

The Colonel: I also liked Bochy's response to this whole thing. "What do you expect from me? Am I suppose to hold his hand 24/7?"

49er16: "Melky had his big boy pants on. You put on your big boy pants one leg at a time and then you brush your teeth in the morning."

The Colonel: "Belt needs to borrow Melky's big boy pants now. We don't need his slumpy shoulders around here. He's bringing everyone down."

49er16: Since the Pirates game just ended, can you believe how long it lasted? And that the game didn't end with the Pirates losing controversially at a play at the plate?

The Colonel: My favorite part of the game was "reliever" Wandy Rodriguez walking "pinch runner" Adam Wainwright.

49er16: That's why I love long extra inning games that involve national league teams. You never know who is going to pinch hit and who is going to pitch?

The Colonel: I've always wanted to see a team bring in a grounds crew member to save their own players. Why not in the middle of the season when there's a lot of games to be played?

49er16: Use one of the ball boys/girls that are down the base lines. Some of those folks make great plays snagging foul balls.

The Colonel: Exactly. Have fun with it.

49er16: I have to say I'm enjoying the Angels faltering a little too much. It's great though seeing a team trying to buy/trade for a playoff spot and they come up empty handed.

The Colonel: I know it probably won't affect his free agency, but if you're a GM you have to see Greinke in a Angels uniform and think to yourself I can sign him for less than Hamels or Matt Cain. You have to. There's no way he's worth more than Hamels or Cain.

49er16: I believe Greinke's agent is Scott Boras and you know he won't settle for less than what Cain got from the Giants.

The Colonel: Oh definitely if Boras is his agent. I just think anyone is crazy if they give Greinke a huge contract. They'll regret it.

49er16: So the Yankees are going to regret signing Greinke?

The Colonel: Ha! I could see him signing in New York, bombing in his first game, and then the idiots will scream, "HE DOESN'T HAVE THE MENTALITY FOR NEW YORK! HE'S A LOSER! WHY DID WE SIGN HIM AGAIN?"

49er16: My favorite story of the weekend is Ryan Dempster not being able to pitch in Toronto because of passport problems. Um maybe the Rangers should have reminded Ryan to update his passport when he arrived.

The Colonel: "Yeah Ryan we still have a series in Toronto to be played, you're gonna need to update that passport."

49er16: The other thing about the Rangers is how mediocre Yu Darvish has been. He hasn't been a complete trainwreck, but he hasn't been playing at a high level. Think of who the Rangers could have signed or what they could have done with their draft picks with that money they had to give up for Darvish?

The Colonel: They could have claimed Cliff Lee off of waivers with that money. #TrollFace

49er16: Or resigned C.J. Wilson or even went after Greinke after this season.

The Colonel: The thing that gets me is how overhyped Darvish and Dice-K were in the first place while someone like Hiroki Kuroda has been a very solid starter for both the Dodgers and Yankees. Hell the Rangers should have signed Kuroda for a lot less money.

49er16: Are you nervous about this upcoming Dodgers-Giants series this week?

The Colonel: Before I answer your question allow me to go on a rant for a second. I loooooooove how the Red Sox-Yankees always play on the weekends and I loooooooooove how all those games are on the MLB Network on Friday, Fox on Saturday, and Sunday night baseball. I especially loooooove how even though the Red Sox are a flaming mess. And I loooooooove the fact none of the major networks air the Dodgers-Giants series' even though it's just as old of an rivalry as the Yankees-Red Sox.

49er16: Hey man how do you expect MLB to grow by showing the Dodgers-Giants? I'm surprised MLB has made the Red Sox-Yankees a permanent series for the entire season. Just Red Sox-Yankees for the entire year.

The Colonel: That's Selig's next step. Schedule Red Sox-Yankees year around. That will definitely help grow Major League Red Sox-Yankees League.

49er16: I know the Red Sox-Yankees do good ratings, but jeez do we really need to see every game of their's broadcasted?

The Colonel: Back to your original question, yes I'm worried about this week's series against the Dodgers. The Dodgers right now are leading the Giants by a half of a game in the standings and they have Kershaw, Blanton, and Capuano pitching this week. All three have been solid this year and even though the Giants have been hitting better, they still worry me in the scoring department.

49er16: It also worries me that Lincecum is pitching this series, you never know what Lincecum you're going to get, and truthfully that Bumgarner is starting the first game. We all love Bumgarner but he is prone to giving up a home run. No matter what the Giants have to score early.

The Colonel: They're going to need a big series from Posey and hopefully Pence. Maybe Sandoval finally feels confident enough to start hitting well again.

49er16: Thankfully though the Giants really only have the Dodgers and maybe Diamondbacks as their tough games left on the year. And the Braves for 4 games. The rest of the schedule is pretty easy though. Going to be interesting to see how they finish the season.

The Colonel: I think even if the Giants reach the playoffs they won't go far because their bullpen is way too inconsistent. If there's anything I've learned over the years watching baseball, a bullpen is like a hot goalie in the playoffs. They will carry you to a championship. And I don't think the Giants bullpen will be "hot" enough for the playoffs.

49er16: Glad to know I'm not the only one who is scared shitless when someone besides Sergio Romo comes out of the bullpen.

The Colonel: Oh no their bullpen scares me. I close my eyes when pretty much anyone comes out of the pen for the Giants.

49er16: I never thought I would say this, but I do miss Brian Wilson.

The Colonel: Now you're just talking crazy.


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  2. FWIW, Casey Close is Grienke's agent.

    Also, you had 4 of the top 5 AL wild card teams playing each other this weekend, and none of those games even got a sniff in the national baseball conversation. In fact, the Sunday night Sportscenter didn't even fucking mention the Orioles/Tigers game! Just incredible.

    1. And sadly Kris the MLB Network is really no different. What game did they lead Quick Pitch off with? That's right Red Sox-Yankees. Just incredible.

    2. MLB Network has really taken a step back this year. I hate their decision to mute the local announcers on the cut-ins to instead feature the wit and wisdom of their own dopey studio guys.

    3. Why listen to Vin Scully when you can listen the very witty Harold Reynolds or Dan Plesac?????

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