"Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in."

The famous Al Pacino line in The Godfather, Part 3 "Just when I thought I was out.....they pull me back in" perfectly describes how I'm feeling about the San Francisco 49ers. Why shouldn't I feel excited for the 49ers at the moment? They lead the NFC West by two games, have beaten two east coast teams, came back against the "Dream Team" in Philly and steamrolled the Buccaneers. Alex Smith is actually looking like a first overall draft pick, Frank Gore is doing Frank Gore things, and they're dominating both sides of the line of scrimmage. So why do I have only one foot on the bandwagon?

I'm not fully jumping on the bandwagon yet because the season is still early. Because Alex Smith could revert back to the Alex Smith we've seen for the past six seasons. Because the 49ers are still lead by a rookie coach in Jim Harbaugh. Still I'm straddling the fence. The 49ers have pulled me back in, just when I thought I was out again.

I'm pulled in because they 49ers have the best turnover margin in the league. I'm pulled in because Alex Smith hasn't made any crippling mistakes so far which is more a credit to Harbaugh and the coaches for making it hard for Smith to fail. I'm pulled in because the 49ers actually have a pass rush. I'm pulled in because the 49ers aren't giving up red zone points along with any rushing yards.

Now with all that said, I do not believe the 49ers are in the same class with Green Bay or New Orleans or really anywhere close to those teams. I would still take Rodgers and Brees over Alex Smith in a New York minute. And while the 49ers defense has been really impressive this year, I don't see how they stop either of those offenses. Stranger things have happened in the NFL playoffs, but 49ers just aren't in the same class with the top NFC teams. I do believe they're right there though with any of the NFC East team, the rest of the NFC South and North.

Right now though I'm just going to enjoy watching the 49ers. I'm riding the wave with every other fan on the three-game winning streak. This is the first time in years that I can just sit back and really enjoy the 49ers play football and I'm loving every minute of it. It feels good being a 49ers fan again.

Journey Into the Wilderness

On Friday night my friend (who will simply be known as The Colonel from now on) and I decided to head to our favorite bar in town, Live Oak Tavern aka Mos Eisley Cantina, to watch the Giants play the Indians in Interleague after work.

We arrived ten minutes before the first pitch and ordered onion rings and a pitcher of Coors Banquet. I'm partial to the Banquet beer because I used to work for a company that distributed Coors products to the Sacramento area. It's also the first beer I ever remember trying and liking. It's also the perfect cheap beer. And we would need a lot of cheap beer on this night.

The Colonel and I would need as much beer as possible on this night. Jonathon Sanchez was taking the hill for the Giants.

To quote Winston Churchill on the country of Russia, "It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." That's the perfect quote to also describe Jonathon Sanchez.

Sanchez can be the most talented left-hander pitcher in the majors. He can also be the most troubled. And inside is an enigma that nobody can figure out. And I mean no one. Coaches, teammates, broadcasters, fans, anyone can't figure out the riddle that is Jonathon Sanchez.

Does he not have the mental capabilities to pitch? Does his mind drift, because he's certainly the only pitcher I've seen who can strike out seven batters and then immediately walk two batters, give up a double along with a couple of runs, and then strike out another seven guys in a row.

Emotions fly when Sanchez is playing. You can go from thinking, "Hey this guy could win the Cy Young" to thinking "I wonder if we could trade Sanchez to the Mets for Jose Reyes" in a split second. Can you think of another pitcher in the majors today that elicits emotions like that?  Neither can I.

So on Friday night the Colonel and I decided to journey into the wilderness that is Jonathon Sanchez. Here's the condensed version of the Colonel's and I conversation during Sanchez's start against the Indians last Friday night over Coors Banquet and onion rings.

On To Summer

The official start of Summer doesn't start until Monday, but to me Summer starts when the NBA and NHL finals are over. Besides a few golf and tennis tournaments this summer and the women's world cup (which actually interests me because Alex Morgan is playing for the USA) we're alone with baseball until the beginning of September.

I love baseball as much as the next fella, but three months of nothing on but baseball can be taxing. Baseball is a slow methodical sport that can change in an instance while also stuck in neutral. I understand why some people can't stand the sport. So what do you do with yourself for the next two and a half months while waiting for college football to start?

Euphemisms In Baseball I Hate

When I was going to college, I took this communication philosophy class. It was much different than I expected. I guess I always thought philosophy classes was where you discussed if a molecule in your fingernail is really a galaxy.*In reality communication philosophy is a combination of philosophy of language and political philosophy and is not a class that questions whether we're real or just a part of someones imagination.

*I watched Animal House way too much between the ages of 17 to 20. If you've ever watched Animal House before, you know what scene I'm talking about. If you haven't, go out and watch that movie. It's tremendous.

That class you learn about syntax, red herrings, Chekhov's gun, Idioms, and Euphemisms. Euphemisms was a huge part of that class and is a huge part of our culture. For those who don't know, Euphemisms are phrases meant to hide the truth about how bad a situation is, even if that situation really isn't that bad in the first place. George Carlin had an epic rant on the evil of Euphemisms that our teacher actually played for us in our class.*



*I actually enjoyed this class much more so than I thought I would. Learning about language is truly fascinating. Plus the teacher played freaking George Carlin comedy clips in the class!

Listen to that Carlin clip, specifically the part about how Euphemisms hide the truth. That's what I want to talk about today folks euphemisms, specifically euphemisms in baseball.

Since buying the Extra Inning package it has shocked me how many baseball analysts use euphemisms to cover up the fact about how awful a situation is. I thought it was just *Mike Krukow who used euphemisms during the broadcast because he refuses to acknowledge how bad the Giants offense truly is. Nope. Other baseball announcers** use euphemisms to hide the fact that their team did something stupid or are really bad at a certain aspect of the game.

*I love Krukow, but he can really annoy me during a broadcast with how many euphemisms he uses during a broadcast.
**Yes, I realize how bad some announcers actually are and that they don't know how to broadcast without using an euphemism or cliche.

So without further ado, here are the euphemisms in baseball I despise.