February 28, 2014

Buck Showalter's Grading Sheet

On Tuesday I brought you the story about Buck Showalter demanding that a Orioles prospect write a one page essay on Frank Robinson because the kid didn't know who the Hall of Fame player was. Well I can only image that Buck had the kid turn in the paper today and this is what his grading sheet looks like.

Format: A+, "You followed my instructions and kept the page single spaced on college ruled paper. You wrote from the first line to the second line as instructed. Well done young man."

Penmanship: B-, "While I did ask for cursive, you're penmanship needs work young man. Your 'L's" look like "I's" and the beginning of the paper was hard to read compared to the end of the page. You get a B- because your handwriting did improve as the page went along."

Grammar: A, "You must have been an excellent English student in high school because your grammar is great. You did mess up an your and you're but kids and adults on Twitter mess that up every single day tweeting about my lineups."

Knowledge of Subject: A, "You began with knowledge that Mr. Robinson grew up in Oakland with Bill Russell. Played for the Cincinnati Reds. Traded to the Baltimore Orioles in one of the worst trades ever. Won MVP's in two different leagues. Won 2 world championships. Became the first African-American manager in baseball. And fell asleep in the Expos dugout during a game."

Total Grade: A, "Well done young man, but next time know who Frank fucking Robinson is. I mean seriously. The man has worked as a manager and as an ambassador of the league. I know you kids today have your heads buried in your phones so next time do yourself a favor and use the Internet on that phone and look up the history of the Baltimore Orioles. Then you'll know who Brooks Robinson is when I ask. And if you don't know who Cal Ripken Jr is, the entire city of Baltimore might execute you. Save yourself the hassle."

1 comment:

  1. Oh, the pitchforks that could potentially come out if a current Oriole doesn't know who Cal Ripken Jr. is. Boog Powell could lead the angry mob and shout "Boog knows where you live!!"