December 14, 2012

Talkin' Baseball: Offseason

Via NotGraphs 
49er16: Well this has certainly been an insane offseason in baseball. What do you want to talk about first?

The Colonel: Michael Young.

49er16: Seriously? Hamilton signs with the Angels. The Diamondbacks traded Bauer. The Royals traded for an "ace". And you want to talk about Michael Young?

The Colonel: Well I want to talk about Michael Young because Ruben Amaro Jr. used my favorite word to describe a not very good baseball player, "winner". All what was missing from that press conference was being told that Young is "gritty".

49er16: You have to love any trade that makes an entire fanbase groan. I applaud Amaro for accomplishing this. Also looking at Young's career numbers, you have to love any player who is perfectly consistent at reaching base the average numbers of times.

The Colonel: That's another point. Young takes a lot of crap from the Sabermetrics community while too much praise from the back of the baseball card community while being perfectly average. That's the best way to describe Young, "average".

49er16: Let's just move on. I don't want this turning into an Michael Young conversation while the Dodgers are going Pacman and making it rain.

The Colonel: Makes me wish I was a baseball player. Hell the Dodgers might pay me big money if I just show them I can throw a baseball. Be right back, I gotta show my arm to Agent Ned.

49er16: The way they throw money around, you have a real shot. I gotta say it makes me laugh that the Dodgers are throwing so much money into the air and then you see what the rest of their lineup looks like. I'm sorry if I'm not buying into the hype that this team can win 115 games.

The Colonel: I'm not buying them as 115 game winners either. Not someone as dumb as Don Mattingly leading them from the dugout. Don't forget this is the same idiot that walked Pagan to get to Scutaro when Scutaro at the time was the hottest hitter in the planet.

49er16: That's why I'm not buying them either. I'm also not buying Adrian Gonzalez or Hanley Ramirez carrying this team.

The Colonel: The Hamilton signing was crazy. The Rangers are pissed he didn't give them the time of day and then signing with their rival. Rangers-Angels has become interesting and ESPN/Fox/TBS will still air all 18 Red Sox-Yankees while only airing a couple Rangers-Angels games.

49er16: I will guarantee you that neither Hamilton or the Rangers wanted him back in Texas. Things ended too badly for him there. He needed a break if it came clean or not.

The Colonel: And the Angels are actually a safe choice for him. It's hard to get in trouble in the land of Disneyland and Republicans.

49er16: The Diamondbacks giving up on Bauer so early made my head scratch until I realized they have a strict, "Do as we say and everything will be fine policy". Remember this team got rid of Darron Sutton because he wore suits during broadcasts. Of course they're going to get rid of a pitcher who won't listen to their recommendations. 

The Colonel: Every interview I listened to involving Bauer who sounded arrogant and condescending involving his work habits. It doesn't surprise me at all the Diamondbacks got rid of this guy. I wouldn't want to be around him either.

49er16: You also gotta love the Royals dumping Wil Myers and the rest of their minor leagues to the Rays for James Shields and Wade Davis. I mean I understand their thinking, the AL Central is weak, but still giving up all those guys just for James Shields and Wade Davis is insane.

The Colonel: Desperate people do desperate things. I believe the Royals traded Wil Myers because his name is "Wil". Son, you're missing an "L".

49er16: What's worse? Mat Latos or Wil Myers? I have to forever go with Mat Latos. Not only is he an asshole, but his name is spelled like a place mat.

The Colonel: Oh it's definitely Latos.

49er16: That's what I thought. Now excuse me I have a paycheck waiting for me from the Dodgers.


  1. But but but Michael Young knows the Art of Hitting!

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