December 13, 2012

Must List: Bowls (Part 1)

Every year we think this is the worst bowl season ever until we see the following year's slate of bowl games. Well this year is no different. The bowl games have gotten worse and worse because of the BCS, too many bowl games which leads to mediocre teams playing in those bowls. Still though it's football plus you have ESPN's motley crew of announcers blundering their way through games that provides unintentional comedy. So here is the first pat of the Must List: Bowls. (Announcing schedule via Awful Announcing)

Saturday, December 15th
Gildan New Mexico Bowl: Nevada vs. Arizona, 1 PM (ESPN: Bob Wischusen, Danny Kanell, Kaylee Hartung) A theme throughout the bowl game Must List are the sponsors of these bowl games. Can anyone tell me what Gildan is? Do I want to know? I'm just going to assume Gildan is the name of an alien that landed in Roswell. As for the game, both of these teams have defense that leak like sieves. Should be fun offensively.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl: Toledo vs. Utah State, 4:40 PM (ESPN: Tom Hart, Mike Bellotti, Quint Kessenich) Don't you wish more bowl games would just embrace their local stereotype like Boise with the Potato Bowl? Couldn't you imagine the Gumbo Bowl in New Orleans or the Cocaine Bowl in Miami? Okay I know that's lame and let's just move on. This game is about contrasting styles which should make it an compelling game.

Thursday, December 20th
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl: San Diego State vs. BYU, 8 PM (ESPN: Carter Blackburn, Rod Gilmore, Jemele Hill) Getting back to the names of these bowls. Don't you just feel sorry for the announcers who have to say "Welcome to the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl" 20 times during the game? Wouldn't you get sick of saying that? And why am I so fascinated with the names of these bowl games?

Friday, December 21st
Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl: Central Florida vs Ball State, 7:30 PM (ESPN: Dave Neal, Andre Ware, Desmond Howard, Cara Capuano) Because conferences like the ACC and Big Ten were hammered by poor play and scandal, the MAC got a whole lot of bowl invites. Not that I'm complaining. The MAC was very competitive this year and one of their teams are in the BCS. I just wanted to point out the poor play from the Big Ten and ACC.

Saturday, December 22nd
R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl: East Carolina vs. Louisiana Lafayette, Noon (ESPN: Beth Mowins, Joey Galloway, Quint Kessenich) East Carolina is the winner of "I had no idea this team was actually good" award. Tells you how much I paid attention to the Conference Big East USA. When East Carolina does lose though, they lose big.

MAACO Las Vegas Bowl: Washington vs. Boise State, 3:30 PM (ESPN: Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Tom Rinaldi) I can imagine right now Musburger looking at the bowl game schedule and saying, "I want that one game in Vegas." Makes me wonder if this is ESPN's joke acknowledging Musburger's tendencies to very slyly talk about the gambling lines during a game? If someone is in Vegas for this game, please send me a photo of Musburger eating at a casino buffet.

Monday, December 24th
Sheraton Hawaii Bowl: SMU vs. Fresno State, 8 PM (ESPN: Carter Blackburn, Kelly Stouffer, Kaylee Hartung) Ah nothing like enjoying Christmas Eve with your family and watching a 6-6 school play. Seriously they need to either eliminate these bowl games or make it that if a 6-6 team can make it to a bowl game they just cancel the event. It's embarrassing SMU is playing in a bowl game.

Wednesday, December 26th
Little Caesars Bowl: Western Kentucky vs. Central Michigan, 7:30 PM (ESPN: Mark Neely, Ray Bentley, Jemele Hill) Ah we're finally at that awkward moment when we watch a team (WKU) who will be playing this game with an interim coach while they have already hired another coach (Petrino). Also once again I'll like to remind you at how bad some of the BCS conferences were by highlighting the fact Central Michigan is also 6-6 on the year.

Thursday, December 27th
Military Bowl: San Jose State vs. Bowling Green, 3 PM (ESPN: Bob Wischusen, Danny Kanell, Quint Kessenich) Another school with an interim coach leading them into the bowl game. Don't you love this time of the year? I'm actually looking forward to watching this game because San Jose State was not only competent this season, but actually entertaining to watch. While Stanford was a better team, SJ State was actually more fun to watch.

Belk Bowl: Cincinnati vs. Duke, 6:30 (ESPN: Mike Patrick, Ed Cunningham, Jeanine Edwards) Duke hasn't won a game since the week before Halloween. Read that sentence again. And Cincinnati is another one of those teams with a interim coach with a newly hired coach watching from the press booth but not before ditching recruits at a restaurant at his old job.

Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl: UCLA vs Baylor, 9:45 (ESPN: Dave Pasch, Brian Griese, Jenn Brown) This is one of those potential HAM games. Baylor can still put points on the board without RG3 while UCLA is no slouch either on offense except when they play Stanford or Cal. This is also one of those rare bowl games I'm actually looking forward to watch.

Friday, December 28th
AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl: Ohio vs. Louisiana-Monroe 2 PM (ESPN: Dave Lamont, Kelly Stouffer, Cara Capuano) How would you like to say "AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl" 20 times in one night? I almost want to fly to Shreveport and give Dave Lamont a bottle of whiskey to get him through the night. Also remember when the Independence Bowl used to get Big 12 vs SEC match ups? When did that stop?

Russell Athletic Bowl: Rutgers vs. Virginia Tech, 5:30 (ESPN: Joe Tessitore, Matt Millen, Maria Taylor) Both of the Quarterbacks in this game have thrown a combined 29 interceptions on the year. This game could break the record for laughter at the unintentional comedy.

Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas: Minnesota vs. Texas Tech, 9 PM (ESPN: Mark Jones, Brock Huard, Jessica Mendoza) These two teams once met in a bowl in Arizona. Texas Tech scored 24 unanswered points in the 4th quarter and won. That cost this guy his job with Minnesota and the Golden Gophers hadn't been back to a bowl game until this year. Oh yeah Texas Tech will be playing with an interim coach.

Part 2 of the bowl previews will be posted soon.


  1. Always wondered if Musberger's thinly veiled gambling references are his own homage to working with Jimmy the Greek in his days with CBS.

    1. It is because Mursburger has spoke about it before.

  2. How is it the fault of the BCS there are so many shitty bowls? I blame the 4 letter, creating so many of these garbage bowls in order to have programming for this time of year.

  3. How is it the fault of the BCS there are so many shitty bowls? I blame the 4 letter, creating so many of these garbage bowls in order to have programming for this time of year.

    1. Because everyone hates the BCS about everything else, I also blame it on the other bowls.

      /grasping for the thinnest of straws

  4. Gildan are the manufacturers of every t-shirt I ever wore in middle school. #TheMoreYouKnow