The Classical, there is a three-part oral history on the great website Fire Joe Morgan. While reading the oral history it reminded me of all the posts the FJM guys did mocking Joe Morgan when he would do a "SportsNation Chat". Well I decided to look at the SportsNation Chats page and well what do you know, Billy Crystal had done a chat.
Crystal was on ESPN all day promoting some movie I and no one else will watch and he sat down for a chat with the SportsNation folks. And let's just say Crystal's SportsNation Chat was about as awful as expected*. Not without further ado, let's "FJM Style" Crystal's chat. The chat questions and Crystal's answers will be in bold.
*I personally have always like Billy Crystal. Liked him on SNL and City Slickers, but he suffer's from Bob Costas disease. Whenever he talks about sports, he always hearkens back to the days when Don Draper was fighting in the Korean War.
Mike (NYC): More nervous before the start of hosting the Academy Awards or before hosting
I'm sure Crystal is petrified at hosting a show that draws less viewers than the Academy Awards pre-show.
Crystal: SportsCenter, without a doubt, only down...no free tux.
Thanks for letting everyone know Billy that you can't even afford to buy your own tux.
Kevin (DC) As a grandparent, how much of this movie is autobiographical?
I wonder if he's related to kt1000?????
Crystal: The themes of it. Old school versus new school. Please go. You'll really love it.
Have I mention how much I hate the meme's "Old school" and "New school"? Is there anything worse? Whether it's parenting or baseball statistics I hate both the "Old school" and "New school". Don't go to school at all losers.
Erik (Denver): Where is that double signed Mickey Mantle program today?
Barely a couple of questions into the chat and we have the all important Mickey Mantle question. Mickey Mantle to Crystal is like drugs and booze to Lindsay Lohan.
Crystal: You'll see it in a second. It will be on the show*. It's in my office.
*I don't watch Sportscenter at 3 PM in the day so I didn't watch the show.
Well that ain't creepy or nothing. Just Billy Crystal talking about Tebow wanting to be traded or released by the Jets while holding a Mickey Mantle program. BTW, I wonder what Mantle in his prime would have thought of someone like Tebow?
Derrick (Chicago): You're a big Yankees fan, so how could you wear a Mets cap in City Slickers? How could you Billy?
Okay we're down to the important questions of the chat. And yes I like City Slickers. Sue me.
Crystal: I'm playing a character who rooted for the Mets, that's why.
Way to go into detail there Billy. "Um yes I just played a character who liked the Mets. The end." You can't go into further detail than that? My goodness. And yes I realize he was probably on a tight schedule and judging by his answers in this chat he had to answer them in a hurry. But give us a little more than that Billy.
Jeff A (Springfield): What's something about Mickey Mantle that you think fans don't understand about him that you learned through your friendship with him?
Oh God back to Mantle.
Crystal: What an intelligent, charming, funny man he was.
Also he was a drunk and not a very good father. I love how both Crystal and Costas very carefully acknowledged that Mantle had his demons, who doesn't have their own problems, but will immediately say "BUT HE WAS A GOOD GUY!" I won't speak for Crystal, but you'll never hear Costas defend Barry Bonds the way he does for Mantle. And Bonds wasn't a drunkard womanizer. He's just an asshole.
Kevin (NJ): I loved your movie "61". What is your most vivid personal memory of Mickey Mantle?
MORE MANTLE MEMORIES!
Crystal: The first time I saw him hit a home run in person in 1956.
I do love how everything goes back to Mantle. Weren't there other players on those Yankees teams or is Yogi just a figment of our imagination?
Crystal: Another thing off the Bucket List.
Yeah I'm sure a SportsNation Chat was on your bucket list along with meeting Mickey Mantle.
And this has been FJM Style, where journalism goes to be obliterated. Now go and read the Fire Joe Morgan Oral History.