The Colonel: What's with you and shitty teams? First the Orioles, now the Royals, are you on the Pirates bandwagon yet?
49er16: Pirates are only 4 games back! By the way, what the hell is happening in Cincinnati?
The Colonel: The Reds brought back the corpses of Chris Sabo, Eric Davis, Barry Larkin, Paul O'Neil, Billy Hatcher, and the Nasty Boys.
49er16: Chris Sabo's rec specs have always fascinated me. Why don't we see players from all the sports wearing rec specs anymore? I'm convinced the only reason why Eric Dickerson is in the NFL hall of fame is because he rocked the rec specs.
The Colonel: Well if the rec specs are going to be brought back, then I demand the jheri curl be brought back as well. Also I demand Rick James be brought back to life along with Pac-Man and Pepsi Clear.
49er16: What about that old Apple commercial directed by Ridley Scott?
The Colonel: Of course. I also want pointless action movies starring the former Governor of California to come back. There's nothing better than an old Arnold action film filled with great violence and hilarious one-liners.
49er16: Commando is the best especially the ending. Arnold just keeps pulling guns on his ass. I mean seriously, where did all those weapons come from at the ending?
The Colonel: Those are just little mysteries in life I don't want solved. I just want to enjoy the ride.
49er16: Have perfect games been devalued?
The Colonel: Perfect game, no. No-hitters, yes. There has still been only 22 people who have thrown perfect games in baseball history. There are a lot of people that haven't thrown perfect games and there will always be a scrub who pitches the game of his life like Phillip Humber or Len Barker.
49er16: Why do you think more pitchers are throwing perfect games/no-hitters while hitting in general has been down?
The Colonel: Everyone will tell you it's because of roids! But that's just a cheap talking point. There was only one perfect game thrown in the 80's and that was the decade of speed. My personal opinion is that in the era of taking more pitches to get on base, baseball teams have unintentionally have created more perfect games/no-hitters. Look at the strikeout leaders the past couple of years and go down and see how many strikeouts would lead baseball in the early 90's. Look at how many time the Rays have been no-hit/perfect game'd the past couple of years. The Rays were damn near no-hit the same night Cain threw his perfect game. I really believe this new approach of taking more pitches has lead to the increase of good pitching.
49er16: It would make sense. If you're known for taking the first couple of pitches all the opposing pitcher has to do is throw the ball right down the plate and immediately the batter is in a 0-1 hole or a 0-2 hole and then they must become defensive with their swings which does lead to strikeouts or an out.
The Colonel: I do believe this is what has lead to the increase of no-hitters and perfect games. Now of course you're in a hole if you swing at the first pitch and miss or even worse ground or fly out. But at least by swinging at maybe the first pitch you see in a game is not a bad thing. Then you can let the pitcher know you won't just sit back and let him throw a pitch that is strike that puts you immediately in a hole.
49er16: Have you been watching the college baseball world series at all? Stony Brook was eliminated :(
The Colonel: I haven't watched the college world series because seriously I hate all those teams except Stony Brook and Kent State. Seriously I would root for a terrorist organization over South Carolina, Florida, UCLA, and Arizona.
49er16: Answer this for me: Are the Yankees the luckiest professional team ever? Look at the ages of the players on their roster and then look at the disabled list. Besides Rivera, they basically have no one on the disabled list that is important and it's not like they are a young team.
The Colonel: The Yankees and the Lakers are definitely the luckiest teams I've ever seen when it comes to injuries. Like you said it's not like they have a bunch of spring chickens on that roster and yet they are mostly healthy. Unbelievable.
49er16: I thought for sure a couple of their players would get hurt and they would fade back behind the Rays at least. Instead they're destroying the entire National League East right now and it's all happening on the road.
The Colonel: My only explanation for this is when George Steinbrenner croaked he made a deal with the devil to give the Yankees the remarkable ability to stay healthy despite age. Just know that if Jeter or A-Rod played for any other team they would be hurt right now.
49er16: If Jeter signed with the Giants last year, he would be at home right now collecting checks and saying, "Thanks Mr. Baer!".
The Colonel: Giants would have never paid for Jeter. Rainy day fund and all.
49er16: Did you see this interview with Colby Rasmus father? How embarrassed would you be right now if he was your dad?
The Colonel: On a scale of 1 to 10 on the embarrassment scale I would be 1,000. Dads should just hush up when you reach a certain age. Though he does remind me of Chris Lincecum.
49er16: Remember when Chris Lincecum would get pissed if any of the Giants coaches tried to say anything to Tim? I wonder what Chris is doing now that Tim has sucked all year long?
The Colonel: I'm sure Chris Lincecum is cashing retirement checks from Boeing, watching Tim pitch on his couch and screaming, "I WOULD BE A BETTER PITCHING COACH THAN DAVE RIGHETTI! WHAT DOES HE KNOW ANYWAYS? OH SURE HE PITCHED A NO-HITTER AND WAS ONE OF THE BETTER PITCHERS OF THE 80'S. BIG FREAKING DEAL. MY SON HAS WON TWO CY YOUNGS! JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE AND HE'LL FIGURE OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM!"
49er16: I love the fact he's nowhere to be found. When Tim was pitching well he was all over the Bay Area talking about how he taught Tim's mechanics while Tim was in his mom's uterus and that Righetti shouldn't tell Tim what to do or even suggest something. Now that Tim is sucking Chris is silent. Complete silence. I haven't heard him on a bay area radio station is probably a year. Two years ago he was on the radio every Saturday on the Giants pre-game show.
The Colonel: I think Tim finally cut the umbilical cord. Which is what you should do when you reach the age of 21. Hopefully Colby Rasmus cuts the umbilical cord from his father soon. That being said, I wonder what Tim would be like right now if his father was still giving him advice?
49er16: I think his old man is still giving him advice and that's why we haven't heard from Chris in a while.
The Colonel: Makes sense. I wouldn't show my face either if my kid was sucking and all I did before that was pump up the fact I created his special mechanics.
I think I heard somewhere Tim said he doesn't even talk baseball with Chris anymore. Probably his problem.
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