The 'Way' Of MLB Teams

When former San Francisco Giants managing general partner Bill Neukom came out with his manifesto called "The Giants Way" everyone in the bay area laughed. Neukom had just written a manifesto which was basically a rip-off of the old "Dodgers Way". The "Dodgers Way" was a part of the the Dodgers organization for 50 years and was basically the way they taught players how to play the game.

Well we can add one more person and team who has produced their own "way" for their franchise. Theo Epstein of the Chicago Cubs realized the 'Cubs Way' over the weekend for the entire franchise. But did you know that every MLB team has their own 'way'? Here are the 'ways' of every franchise in baseball.

'Diamondbacks Way': Earn a spot in the playoffs every few years. Fire the GM and coach when the teams stinks. Hire a new GM and manager and make the playoffs again. Rinse, recycle, repeat.

'Braves Way': Squander great pitching by choking in the playoffs.

'Orioles Way': Piss all over the 30 years of excellence of Weaver, Palmer, Ripken, the Robinsons, and Murray.

'Red Sox Way': Sign expensive free agents. Watch them become fat on fried chicken and beer. Fire the manager and accuse him of having drug and infidelity problems on his way out the door.

'Cubs Way': Continue not winning championships.


'White Sox Way': Continue hiring managers who once played for the team. Hopefully one day Ron Karkovice will one day be the White Sox manager.

'Reds Way': Get down on hands and knees everyday and pray Dusty doesn't destroy the arms of all the pitchers.

'Indians Way': Keep on losing to continue the miserable existence of Cleveland sports fans.

'Rockies Way': Pray that no one notices the equipment manager switching the dehumidifier balls with non-dehumidifier balls.

'Tigers Way': Overpay for fat or alcoholic players and pray it doesn't explode in your face.


'Astros Way': Trade away every player for prospects then trade away the prospects for more prospects when they become successful players. (Whoops that's the A's way)

'Royals Way': Claim you're rebuilding every single year even if you've been "rebuilding" for 20 years.

'Angels Way': Keep claiming you have the best manager in baseball while your team loses in the playoffs every single year.

'Dodgers Way': Drive as fast as you can to the bank before your check bounces.

'Marlins Way': Only pay for free agents after you stole tax dollars to build your stadium.

'Brewers Way': Watch helplessly as your best players either leave via free agency or is suspended.

'Twins Way': Pray your 1st baseman and catcher are fully healthy otherwise this team is screwed again.

'Mets Way': Saying no when someone wants you to invest money in a timeshare.

'Yankees Way': Hope no one notices that the team is aging quickly.

'A's Way': Blame the team across the bay as the reason why you have to trade away every single decent player on your team.

'Phillies Way': Fool everyone in baseball that you have the best rotation in baseball, then lose in the playoffs.

'Pirates Way': Trade for AJ Burnett and pretend to contend right now.

'Padres Way': Pay fans to actually show up and root for the home team.

'Giants Way': Finding new ways to gouge paying customers while keeping the money in a "rainy day fund".

'Mariners Way': Pretend to not notice the laughs of the people making fun of you for putting Chone Figgins in the leadoff spot.

'Cardinals Way': Distract the fans anger over Pujols leaving by bringing back Ozzie Smith as an Spring Training instructor.

'Rays Way': Keep earning playoff spots while earning every stats nerd affection.

'Rangers Way': Keep finding new and exciting ways to lose championships.

'Blue Jays Way': Wave arms in the air to get people to notice that there is actually a baseball team in Canada.

'Nationals Way': Find new creative ways to misspell names.