Lakers vs. Magic Game 1 Running Diary

I did this last year for the NBA finals, and I am going to do it again. It's the running diary. I will be documenting what is happening between the Orlando Magic and the Los Angeles Lakers in game 1 of the NBA finals. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the NBA Finals.

5:55 PM. PT: Just in time for player introductions. Is there anything more useless than player introductions?

The Lakers theme song during introductions is a Who song. Yeah because nothing says NBA quite like the Who.

6:01: We are introduced to the announcers: Mike Breen, Jeff Van Gundy, and Mark Jackson. I hope Van Gundy talks about his hair and his other quirks.

Of course Breen brings up the fact that Jeff is calling his brother's game in the NBA Finals. I guess you might as well get all the awkwardness out of the way early. Game 1 is about ready to start.

6:07: I forgot the NBA Finals goes Super Bowl on us and shows about five minutes of commercials. I guess you have to pay the bills.

6:09: One foul already on Orlando. I expect about 1,000 fouls's called on Orlando in this series. They must be punished for knocking out LeBrick from the playoffs. I'm just wondering how much money Stern is paying the refs?

6:11: Of course Rafer Alston has to shoot a layup that has no chance. He must stand in front of a mirror and say, "I'm Rafer Alston!".

6:12: Rafer throws up another shot. He didn't even wait for his teammates. If Orlando loses this series, it will be because of Rafer and the twenty shots he takes every night.

6:15: Both teams are making every shot they take. Then Howard is called for a goal tend. And who shots the ball you ask? Of course Kobe. Bryant can drive the lane all game and get that call every time from the refs.

(I'm still pissed about Game 6 of the 2002 Western Conference Finals between the Lakers and Sacramento Kings)

6:21: They have Stan Van Gundy wired. His pregame speech is about how his team has had to face LeBron and Kobe in back-to-back series. He's right though. The media hasn't given them respect at all since the 1st round. By the way, is there anything better than Stan Van wired? "If this doesn't work out, reality T.V." That is what Jeff had to say about his brother. I knew there was a reason why I love the Van Gundy brothers. I wish they were my uncles.

6:22: Tonny Battie sighting! Somewhere Greg Ostertag is rejoicing. So is every big stiff that laced up a pair of sneakers.

6:25: Two fouls on Bynum. He's the Greg Oden of this series, a foul machine. Dwight has definitely improved his FT shooting.

Has Lamar Odom already disappeared? He must be on a candy fix. The Lakers must of had sour patch kids, M&M's, and snickers bars in the locker room.

6:29: Of course ABC has to give us shots of all the celebrities at the game. And of course Jack is attending the game with a twenty year old blonde. Question is, was it his daughter or girlfriend?

6:31: Two fouls on Dwight Howard already. Pau Gasol flopped big time. But then again, he is European and we shouldn't expect anything else. The Magic respond though by bringing in their own seven foot European stiff to flop in the game.

6:33: Pretty evenly called game so far by the refs. I have to say I didn't expect this. After the 1st quarter I am going to going to eat a piece of pizza and drink an ice cold Coors. Dinner for champions right there.

6:36: End of 1st Quarter, 24-22 Magic. Kobe is already 3-for-9 from the field. I'm not a good math student, but I know that is not a good percentage. Pizza and beer time for me :-)

6:39: Doris Burke does the quarter interview with Van Gundy. I am disappointed Lisa Salters isn't' the sideline reporter. I have always thought she was cute and she isn't that bad of an reporter.

Also we have a Jameer Nelson appearance. His first since February. I hope he can contribute in a good way.

6:41: Sasha tries to drive the lane on the Magic. And of course he gets rejected. At least he has dated Paris Hilton. That's something two million people in this country can't say. Also Nelson has already had an impact on this game.

6:43: "There's a definition of an airball."-Mike Breen, talking about Michael Pietres' airball. And yes it was that bad. Then Mark Jackson responds with a wrestling reference. ABC: Where the announcers are awesome.

6:48: "Luke Walton is unbelievable. There isn't a player who is more important to the Lakers than Walton. Even the great Lute Olson admitted that he's the greatest player ever. The Grateful Dead have said Luke is their greatest fan. Luke I am your father." Like my Bill Walton impression?

6:55: I don't know why the Magic are ignoring Howard. While they are doing this, the Lakers are starting to run away from them. And Stan Van keeps burning timeouts. He might need them at the end of this half. 10-0 run for the Lakers.

6:57: Some great Magic defense after the timeout. And then they finally let Howard go straight to the hoop. And in the process, Bynum picks up his third foul. Howard can dominate this series only if Stan Van will let him. Pau and Bynum will foul out trying to guard Howard.

7:00: Howard has drawn three fouls on Bynum and two on Pau. The Lakers might have to put Kurt Rambis on the floor if this keeps up. 16 points for Kobe Bryant. Then Hedo throws up a airball.

7:05: Are second shot of the celebs in the crowd. That lesbo Billie Jean King is there. She must have thought there was an WNBA game going to be played.

7:06: The Lakers are looking great on defense. The Magic are helping them though by living and mostly dieing by the three-pointer. Nelson with four points in 10 minutes. The Magic look uncomfortable with him on the floor.

7:08: An J Peezy sighting! I missed Josh Powell. His presence will definitely be felt by the Lakers. 10-point lead for the Lakers as the Magic look like they are ready for halftime. They will need to make adjustments at the half.

7:10: End of 1st half, 53-43 Lakers. And there is no way in hell I am going to watch the halftime report with Jon-Jon, Tragic, One-Eye, and Wilbon. Be back at the start of the 2nd half.

7:30: Mark Jackson is complementing Kobe. But he has gone 9-of-18 from the field. That's only 50% which is terrible.

7:32: Magic have not started the 2nd half like they would have wanted. They had back-to-back shots blocked. And then Howard just throws one off the glass that isn't even close. 11-point lead for the Lakers. And Kobe keeps missing a lot of shots.

7:34: Four fouls on Bynum. He will definitely pick up the Greg Oden award in this game. I bet he will foul out by the start of the 4th quarter. Lamar Odom comes in and he picks up his third foul. Now if Howard can only make more FT's. I am shocked to say this, "the Magic have played better with Rafer, instead of Jameer."

7:38: JVG is now quoting Yogi Bera. Keep em coming. The refs are starting to have a field day now. It feels like there has been more foul calls this quarter, than the entire 1st half.

7:40: I'm Rafer Alston jacks up a three. And it is nowhere near close. But he's Rafer Alston? Then good ole Rafer goes straight to the rim and misses a layup. Keep em coming Rafer. That's why the Magic traded for you. Then he jacks up another three, that isn't close again. The Lakers will run away from them if he keeps this up.

7:42: Now the refs are calling fouls solely on the Magic. Howard gets called for an offensive foul, when Gasol flopped again. 66-50 Lakers mid-way through the third. The Magic look like they are out of gas already. They better prepare for Game 2.

7:44: Stan Van finally calls a timeout as the Lakers take a 18-point lead. Get F&%^ing Rafer Alston out of the game. He is killing them right now.

7:47: Orlando is shooting 31% from the field. Orlando is dieing by the three in this game. They better hope they can shoot better either in the fourth quarter or game 2. Lakers are just dominating this game.

7:50: Kobe abused the Magic defense with a last-second layup. Then the Lakers come back down the floor and actually play defense. The Magic can't buy a basket at this point, while Kobe continues to abuse Orlando. Another turnover by the Magic. They are looking scared in this game.

7:52: We have all seen the Lakers blow leads in the finals before. Can it happen again. Nope, Gasol actually blocked a shot. And the Lakers are receiving every call now.

7:57: Stan Van is killing his team by not double teaming Kobe. Bryant is killing Courtney Lee and Pietres on single coverage. 25-point lead for Los Angeles and the third quarter isn't even over! Dwight Howard only has nine points in the game so far. Just a complete implosion by the Magic on the offensive end of the court.

8:01: End of the third quarter, 82-58 Lakers. Complete domination by the Lakers in this quarter. That is the only way to describe it.

8:05: The Magic start the fourth quarter like they ended the third. With a missed shot. The Lakers probably can play their scrubs with the way the Magic have been playing. JVG wants to end the Finals MVP voting already. He's already throwing dirt on his brother's team.

8:08: LA doesn't even need Kobe on the floor. They can score without him in this game. Hell even Walton threw up an ally-oop to Shannon Brown. At least Brown isn't being sued or anything. 27-point lead for Los Angeles. Mike Breen couldn't get his head up the Lakers ass any further.

8:13: They went to the Stan Van wired. He's trying to motivate them, lets see if it works. Their body language looks like they want to relax by the pool or go to Disneyland. Now Mark Jackson is kissing LA's ass. I hope this doesn't turn into an Los Angeles ass-kissing series for the announcing crew. If that happens, I'm watching the rest of the series on mute.

8:17: J.J. REDDICK SIGHTING! COME ON LA, BRING IN ADAM MORRISON! I WANT TO SEE THAT MATCH UP, LIKE THE REST OF AMERICA. JUST DO IT, PLEASE? GREG PUALUS WOULD COMPLETE THE CRAPPY WHITE PLAYER TRIFECTA.

8:19: Reddick was guarding Kobe Bryant and Kobe actually missed a shot. Funniest thing I HAVE EVER SEEN! I WANT MORE, MORE, MORE!

8:26: Orlando just looks happy to there. That won't work in game 2. Stan Van has to rally the troops. Orlando is just throwing up everything right now and praying it goes in. 23-point lead for Los Angeles as this game is winding down.

8:28: Reddick is just trying to get points on the board. This game can't end fast enough.

8:34: REDDICK JUST ATTEMPTED A UNDERNEATH LAYUP. AND OF COURSE HE MISSES. I KNEW THERE WAS A REASON WHY I CONTINUE TO WATCH THIS GAME.

8:26: Mercifully this game is over. Los Angeles blows out Orlando 100-75. A 25-point blowout.

The curse of the live blog continues. I will not be doing another one of these, because of what happened. So enjoy the rest of your night.