March 19, 2014

The Antagonists of March

Ah March. Spring is sprung. Grass being cut. Baseball on it's way. The NBA and NHL wrapping up their seasons. March Madness. What's not to love about this month? Well there are three things that are hateful this month. Assholes telling you about their fantasy baseball team. Assholes telling you about their bracket picks. And asshole NBA and college basketball writers that love to antagonize each other on Twitter.

The last one really gets to me because I follow a lot of basketball writers in both sports. And they love jabbing each other about why their version of the sport is better. You know how these responses go.

College basketball writer: "College basketball is so much better than the NBA! Look at the emotion on the players faces!"

NBA Writers response: "That and they can't shoot." 

College basketball writer: "Well your players get arrested." (I love this response because almost all of those players played in college and morph into thugs into these writers eyes. THEY WERE NEVER THUGS IN PRECIOUS COLLEGE!)

NBA Writers: "Your players can't score." (This is the old standby retort for NBA writers. When in doubt, always point out the fact that college basketball is a low scoring game leaving out the fact they all love watching Tom Thibodeau teams that can't in fact score.)

College basketball writer and Duke snob Seth Davis kicked off the antagonizing last night (yes he couldn't even wait until the real part of the tournament started) with this amazingly hokey tweet:

Good God that is bad. And yeah Seth, I'm sure Lebron James and Chris Bosh are concerned about their teammates "locking arms" during the NBA finals.........

Anyway as you can imagine ole Seth got crushed on Twitter by NBA writers. Mocking the hokiness of that tweet. Mocking the low scoring of the game. Mocking everything about college basketball. The season for college basketball and NBA writers to antagonize each other was knocked opened and for the next three weeks if you follow these tools on Twitter you'll see them sniping at each other.

Look I'm the first one to admit that college basketball has its issues. The sport is too slow. There are way too many fouls called. Offenses aren't exactly fluid, then again most NBA offenses aren't exactly fluid. Have you ever watched a Mike Brown team in the NBA? Defenses can be way to aggressive leading to basically shitty wrestling. The possession arrow needs to be given a quick death.

College basketball has some serious issues but that doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't enjoy it. Why can't you just be a basketball fan, regardless who is playing or whether it's college or pros?

I enjoy college basketball for completely different reasons than the NBA. I don't need see Lebron taking over whole games at the college level. I can enjoy the nuances of the game. The different defense's that are used. The environments and the rivalries.

I enjoy the NBA for completely different reasons than college basketball. The faster pace, the man-to-man defenses. The fluidity of the games.

All I'm really asking for is that both writing groups just give it a rest for the next three weeks. You'll get your chance to shine NBA writers next month when your playoffs start. We don't need your constant reminders about how much better it is to watch the NBA. Also you give it a rest to college basketball writers. I know this is your time to shine but we don't need hokey reminders about college camaraderie and traditions. Just shut the fuck up please.


  1. A-freaking-men. Nothing worse than these toolbags snipping at each other about what sport is better. Sit back and enjoy the ride assholes.

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