January 28, 2014

What We Wish The Players Would Say at Media Day

Media day begins in a short while for the Super Bowl. It's the annual day when clowns dress up in costumes and ask offensive lineman dumb questions. Jay Leno usually sends someone to this day to ask questions. It's really dumb and usually nothing important happens. This is what I wish the players would really say at the media day.

Peyton Manning: "I'm just trying to be the best that I am. I'm just trying to be the best that I am. I'm just trying...............circuits break and the Peyton bot shuts down."

Russell Wilson: "Thank God I'm actually good because if I wasn't I would be the black Tim Tebow. God bless y'all."

Marshawn Lynch: "Cal is the greatest school in the entire world."

Richard Sherman: "Peyton Manning is the most mediocre quarterback in the entire history of the world. He's going to have as many super bowls as myself after Sunday."

Demaryius Thomas: "My mother and grandmother will be watching this game from prison. Please don't complain about not watching this game on a flat screen."

Von Miller: (He just sits there glumly and quietly)

Champ Bailey: "Remember when I was better than Richard Sherman back in the day?"

Earl Thomas: "I apologize on the behalf of Texas to Marshawn Lynch and the rest of the 04 Cal football team for Texas stealing Cal's Rose Bowl spot. That was unfair and Mack Brown is a huge dick."

Brandon Mebane: "I accept your apology, Earl. Mack Brown can still get fucked though."

Knowshon Moreno: "Will you please stop asking me questions about my tears."

Wes Welker: "Fuck you Giselle!"

1 comment:

  1. Giselle: "That's okay Wes because I know you're not going to catch a key pass late in this game."