October 29, 2013

NBA Predictions

I love how the NBA kinda sneaks up on everyone and begins their season. It's always like, "The NBA is on? But it's not even Halloween yet?" So yes the NBA starts up tonight with a triple-header while we get a full slate tomorrow night. And these are my goofy predictions for the upcoming season.

I'll Lose Interest In The Kings Games During Their First Losing Streak: The Kings are the only team I love that I can lose interest in quickly. I blame the NBA more for this than the Kings themselves because if the Kings are good, they won't be good enough to win a championship. The NBA isn't like baseball, hockey, or the NFL. You need to be great in the NBA. So my bet is the Kings go on some sort of losing streak by the end of November or early December and I lose interest in them. I'll still watch them but not as frequently like I still watch the Giants or Sharks when they go on losing streaks.

They'll Still Be Better Than Last Year: I've watched the Kings this preseason and they'll be better than last year and the last few years. Stable ownership, stable GM, and a coach that actually has a clue. They actually look more organized on the court which is stunning to see because they haven't looked organized on the court since Rick Adelman. They'll be better but how better they'll be is the question? I doubt they make the playoffs but it wouldn't surprise me if they can win at least 35 games*.

*Watch them suck but they don't suck enough to reach the top of the draft. Only the Kings.

Kobe Won't Play Until December: Knowing Kobe he'll probably return earlier, let's say mid November. What I want to talk about is this roster Kobe will return to. Am I the only one excited for Nick Young taking a dumb shot with Kobe on the floor and to see Kobe's reaction? I might have to watch a lot of Laker games this season just for the Nick Young-Kobe teaming.

The Sixers Won't Be The Worst Team Ever And They Won't Get The Top Pick: I predicted the Astros wouldn't be the worst MLB ever and I'm predicting the Sixers won't be the worst NBA team ever. And they won't receive the top pick in the draft. How many teams over the year (I can think of the Bobcats and Kings recently) have tanked like the Sixers and have gotten the first overall pick? You have to go back to the Spurs in the 90's who shamefully tanked for Tim Duncan. My prediction is the Sixers receive the 4th pick in the NBA lottery because that's how karma works.

The Warriors Will Make The Playoffs But Lose In The 1st Round: I love when people get excited over the Warriors only to realize they're still the Warriors which means they're still losers. The Warriors have been losers during my lifetime and that won't change. They'll make the playoffs again and lose in the first round because no one destroys dreams like the Warriors do and it will be glorious.

The Clippers Won't Make the Finals: Woj is already reporting that Doc Rivers almost quit before the season started because of Donald Sterling meddling. And I'm suppose to believe that this team will make the finals like a lot of people are predicting? Jerry Jones is the only meddling owner that can win a championship and he only won a championship because he wasn't quite meddling yet. Clippers lose in the 2nd round of the playoffs again.

Carmelo Anthony Will Sign an Extension Before The Season Ends: Anthony has already made noise about testing the free agent market after the season. I don't see that happening. The Knicks will make him an offer, he'll realize he only wants to play in New York, and will sign the extension.

The Timberwolves Will Make The Playoffs as Long as Kevin Love Stays Healthy: Minnesota is the trendy pick to make the playoffs. I don't see them making the playoffs unless Kevin Love stays healthy. Love has only played 80 games once and that was during his rookie season. He's only played 70 games once and that was 3 years ago. I don't doubt that the Timberwolves can make the playoffs, I'm just dubious if Love can't stay healthy.

The Pacers Will Have The Best Record in the League: The Pacers actually have DEPTH! They actually have a bench. Remember last season their only semi-competent bench player was the Fake Psycho. Not anymore. They have Chris Copeland, Luis Scola, and CJ Watson coming off the bench now. They have a trade chip in Danny Granger when he returns. The Pacers will have the NBA's best record this season but......

The Heat Will 3-Peat: They have Lebron and no one else does. That's all what matters this season.

Andrew Bynum Will Play More Games Than Have Weird Hairdos: Never forget


  1. I won't be watching much NBA until after Christmas like usual. I still maintain they start their season way too early.

  2. "I love when people get excited over the Warriors only to realize they're still the Warriors which means they're still losers."

    Hey! How dare you mock my personal tradition of perpetual disappointment with the Warriors!

    (Even though, sadly, you're probably right. *Shakes fist angrily*)