August 29, 2013

Must List: Week 1

"Thanks for slobbering on me, Lou."
I love the first week of the college football season. You're excited for the return of the college football season until you quickly realize the best games are............Georgia vs Clemson! So yeah the first week of the season only has about three good games but who cares? The college football season is back!

And with the return of the college football season means the return of the Must List! I preview the best games of the weekend, throw in some good recipes and beers to enjoy, and wall-ah! Enjoy the college football season folks. (Times/announcer assignments/networks are via the506)

Thursday, August 29th
North Carolina at South Carolina, 6:00 PM (ESPN: Rece Davis, Jesse Palmer, David Pollack, Samantha Ponder): I'm not sure how this tradition has started, but once again we're stuck with South Carolina opening the college football season. I'm just thankful they're not playing Southern Miss again. Remember how bad those games were? With UNC rebuilding I don't expect this game to be very competitive after the 1st quarter.

UNLV at Minnesota, 7:00 PM (Big Ten Network: Matt Devlin, Glen Mason): Somehow UNLV has become a fixture on the opening Thursday of the season. Why this has happened and why they play B1G games is beyond me. And why is Matt Devlin calling this game? What do these networks see in Devlin? I just don't even know anymore.

Utah State at Utah, 8:00 PM (FS1: Justin Kutcher, Petros Papadakis, Kristina Pink): This game has actually become more fun than the Utah-BYU game. Utah State beat Utah last season and prevented the Utes from going to a bowl game. Utah State though has lost Gary Andersen to Wisconsin and have to start the season in SLC. I honestly don't expect much from them in this game unless they can get a pass rush going.

Ole Miss at Vanderbilt, 9:15 PM (ESPN: Joe Tessitore, Matt Millen, Maria Taylor): This is really the best game on Thursday. Ole Miss has built itself on a strong recruiting class that is probably still a year away. Vanderbilt has become a darling in the SEC building themselves into actual contenders.


Friday, August 30th
Texas Tech at SMU, 8:00 PM (ESPN: Carter Blackburn, Danny Kanell, Allison Williams): The spread offense vs the Run-and-Shoot! If there aren't at least 8 touchdowns scored combined in this game I'll be disappointed.

Saturday, August 31st
Buffalo at Ohio State, Noon (ESPN2: Beth Mowins, Joey Galloway, Paul Caracaterra): You're excited. College Gameday just aired 4 hours of coverage from Clemson, they make the picks, and go directly to...........Buffalo at Ohio State? Cue up the fail horn. Way too lose all the momentum from College Gameday by showing this tire fire of a game. I predict this game will be over in about 5 minutes after it started. The B1G ruins everything again.

Purdue at Cincinnati, Noon (ESPNU: Eamon McAnaney, Anthony Becht, Brooke Weisbrod): I gotta say that Purdue vs Cincinnati is barely better than Buffalo vs Ohio State. At least these teams play in real conferences I guess? These games both start at 9 in the morning where I live so I'll definitely make breakfast during this hour.

Rice at Texas A&M, 1:00 (ESPN: Dave Pasch, Brian Griese, Tom Luginbill): Oh God the Johnny Manziel conversations in this game is going to drive everyone nuts. Thankfully Pasch isn't paired with the elder Griese and Spielman debating Johnny Football. Still though I'm not ready for 3 hours of Johnny Football talk.

Mississippi State at Oklahoma State, 3:30 (ABC: Bob Wischusen, Rod Gilmore, Captain Quint Kessenich): Perfect that two middle of the pack conference teams that never seem to reach the peak but have a good season once every 10 years are meeting each other to begin the season. Holy Shit how haven't Dan Mullen and Mike Gundy not escaped these two places. These two guys are never going to be able to move up to a different school without getting fired and starting all over. I almost feel sorry for them.

Virginia Tech vs. Alabama, 5:30 (ESPN: Sean McDonough, Chris Spielman, Shannon Spake): Ah so Virginia Tech gets to be this year's annual opening day lamb to slaughter for Alabama. I would bet anything that Saban immediately began studying tape on the Turkey's as soon as Bama was done thrashing the Irish. God I hate Saban so much. Nothing would make me happier than seeing Bama lose this game but I have a better chance at knocking out Jon 'Bones' Jones than Tech does winning this game.

Washington State at Auburn, 7:00 (ESPNU: Clay Matvick, Matt Stinchcomb): Like the Friday Texas Tech-SMU game, this game should be a HAM filled offensive smorgasbord. I can only imagine the Finebaum caller reactions if Auburn loses at home to that team from the Northwest.

Georgia at Clemson, 8:00 (ABC: Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Heather Cox): Are there two bigger teases than Georgia and Clemson? It's almost too perfect that these teams are starting the season against each other. I fully expect these two teams to shit the bed sometime during the season and that sometime can begin right at the beginning of the season.

LSU vs TCU, 9:00 (ESPN: Brad Nessler, Todd Blackledge, Holly Rowe): I fully expect this game to be a 13-10 slog. Yeah TCU's offense is usually good, but LSU is the Steelers of college football, they always manage to ugly up games. Not even the gaudy JerryDome can make this game beautiful.

Boise State at Washington, 10:00 (FS1: Gus Johnson, Charles Davis, Kristina Pink): Boise State may be returning their starting QB and depth on offense, I'm not in love with the potato school like I have been. I'm sure the Broncos will give the Huskies a tough game, but this has a last minute heartbreak written all over it.

Northwestern at Cal, 10:30 (ESPN2: Mark Jones, Brock Huard): Two reasons to be excited as a Cal fan this season: 1. Jeff Tedford's staleness is gone. 2. Zach Maynard is no longer around to ruin everything. My irrational hatred of Maynard completely turned me off on Cal the past two seasons. Maynard was the Shang Tsung of college football sucking the soul out of me.



Sunday, September 1st
Ohio at Louisville, 3:30 PM (ESPN: Joe Tessitore, Matt Millen, Maria Taylor): Our first look at early season darling Louisville. Oh God it would be great if they lost to Frank Solich to open the season and then we won't have to hear about them being screwed at the end of the season at a national title chance. The conference Louisville plays in this season makes the AFC West look competent.

Monday, September 2nd
NOPE: Sorry but I'm not previewing another Florida State labor day game. I'm especially not previewing a game involving the Chernobyl of college football, Pittsburgh. Enjoy this easy victory Florida State and then enjoy that perplexing loss to Virginia or Wake Forest during the season because that's your life now. The former world beaters than can't even beat North Carolina State anymore.

Recipe of the Week, Sour Cream Burgers: The first recipe of the year comes via James Craven. This recipe is pretty simple. Mix sour cream, bread crumbs, and onion soup with the ground beef and create your burgers. It's still hot enough outside that BBQing is a better option than heating up your own house using the oven.

Alcoholic Beverage of the Week, Shock Top: I feel bad for betraying Coors, but I've fallen in love with Budweiser's answer to Blue Moon, Shock Top. It might be the perfect cheap "craft beer" to drink on a hot summer's day. Now beer snobs hate this brand, but their beer snobs and there's nothing good about being a beer snob. Beer snobs are right up there with BBQ snobs.

3 comments:

  1. I'll probably watch some of Western Kentucky/Kentucky just for the return of Bobby Petrino.

    And I probably shouldn't have laughed at Pitt being "The Chernobyl of college football," but I did.

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  2. Actually, that UB-TO$U game isn't the lead out for ESPN. Who knows how many points Rice will score before Johnny Football gets the ball in the second half.

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    1. It's still the football lead-out for Gameday.

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