February 15, 2013

Annoying Spring Training Narratives

A few weeks ago I went over the story lines and narratives that are sure to annoy the crap out of people before the Super Bowl. Well this week pitchers and catchers reported to Florida and Arizona for 7 weeks of fun before the start of the season. Unlike the annoying super bowl narratives, spring training narratives last much much longer. 6 to 7 weeks longer. Oh yes, you're going to be pounded over the head about various narratives until the baseball season begins. It will be annoying. Here's a few of those narratives that will be talked about.

Tim Lincecum Stories: Grant Brisbee at McCovey Chronicles has already gone over some very annoying Tim Lincecum narratives in Giants camp. He's pitching to Buster Posey! He's throwing crisply in bullpen sessions! Lincecum will be a part of the starting rotation! Ugh, 6 weeks of Lincecum will be basically all what we hear about around these parts.

Yankee Narratives: Baseball Tonight has been airing daily recently at 12:30 PT on ESPN2 so I watch it during my lunch break. And of course ESPN can't help themselves and talk about the Yankees. The Yankees are old! The Yankees don't spend money anymore! Will Jeter be healthy to start the year? On and on. Oh dear Lord if the Yankees struggle this year we're going to be deluded with Yankees stories like we are with struggling Lakers stories.

Dodgers Narratives: ESPN also can't go a day without talking about the Dodgers. I'm not saying this because I'm a Giants fan (Okay I am) but I haven't rooted against a team this much before the start of the season since LeBron stabbed Cleveland in the back for Miami.

Let's Pile On The Marlins: Blogs can be just as bad as ESPN when pounding on narratives. The Marlins are a narrative that blogs have pounded on early, including yes me. Now maybe all of this talk will go away once spring training starts or maybe we'll continue to hear about how awful Loaria is and how much the Miami taxpayers go screwed. Oh look! Empty stadium. This will be the one narrative that won't involve actual players.

Player A is in the best shape of his life!: Every single team in baseball will have a story coming out of their camp about how one of their players are reporting to camp "in the best shape of their life". That phrase has been said so often during spring training that it has become comical. It makes you sit back and think, "why wasn't that player in shape the year's previous?". Anyways you're going to hear and read about a player being in shape from every beat writer in the country.

Player A's grittyness is leading this team!: I can already hear the echos from the Phillies camp from writers talking about how Michael Young's "grittyness" will lead them back to the playoffs! See a lot of baseball writers are old and spring training is long so they need something to write about. Well what's better than talking about a old player and his leadership? And that's how you get gritty narratives on Michael Young.

People will get excited about a team's or player performance: What actually happens in spring training games has no bearing on the actual season. Nothing. Just because a team or a player looks awesome in spring training, doesn't mean they'll look awesome in the regular season. I remember one year the Giants lead the Cactus League in wins and then they didn't make the playoffs. That will won't stop people, either reporters or fans, from going apeshit when a team or player look incredible during spring training. "LOOK AT HOW GOOD CHRIS STEWART LOOKS! HE'S THE NEXT YOGI!" Don't believe it because some Yankees writer wrote it. I saw Christ Stewart play for the Giants, he sucks.

There's just a few of the narratives that I'm sure will annoy you these coming weeks if you follow baseball. Here's some actual narratives I'm interested in.

- Are the Royals really improved by the James Shields trade?
- What will the prospects traded for Shields do in Tampa Bay?
- Are the Pirates improved? Are their stud pitching prospects ready for the big leagues?
- Can the Orioles build on their success from last season? (Everyone is counting them out again)
- How bad will the AL Central be again?
- Is anyone interested in the NL Central?

What narratives annoy you and what narratives are you actually interested in?


  1. Didn't the Giants suck in spring training games in 2010?

  2. I, for one, am enjoying the schadenfreude that is the "Miami" Marlins. One of my "irrational hatred" teams you mentioned a long long time ago.