January 7, 2013

Why I'm Rooting For Satan, aka Notre Dame

This morning Kris gave his reasons for rooting for Alabama tonight. Well I'm here folks to tell ya that Kris is just flat out wrong and why everyone should be rooting for Notre Dame.

Like Kris I would normally have no interest in this game. Unlike Kris though I still might not watch it. In truth I hate both of these teams. I hate Notre Dame, their "tradition", their ability to pretend Declan Sullivan wasn't killed on that scissor lift, or that girl who was raped and then killed herself, Brian Kelly, Lou Holts, all of it. I hate Notre Dame. Why I'm rooting for Notre Dame tonight has nothing to do with me liking them and everything to do with my white hot hatred of Nick Saban and Alabama fans. 

And that's the catch. I don't mind Alabama the team. There's no one on that team that I look at and hate. In fact I kinda like a couple of players on that team. This probably has more to do with the fact though I can really only name about three players on Alabama. 

No it comes down to Saban and Alabama/SEC fans. First of all I just don't want to see Saban win another national championship. Do you realize if he wins tonight it will be his third national championship with Alabama and fourth overall? If he wins tonight he'll be in the same class as John McKay and one behind Bear Bryant. 

Really you want a notorious dickhead to win his fourth national championship? Yes I'm well aware that Saban isn't the only prick to win a national championship. Saban though is the ultimate prick. When the NFL was running those excellent "Football Life" shows they did an episode on the 95 Cleveland Browns, a team that Saban was on. During that episode it was revealed that Saban made future Lions coach Jim Schwartz mow the lawn around a pond at the Browns facility even though Schwartz was a coach on the staff. That's the perfect Saban story. He probably didn't even know Schwartz was a coach on that team. 

I'm sorry but no matter what Notre Dame's track record is, I just cannot pull myself to root for a Nick Saban team. I just can't. Rooting for Saban is like rooting for that one asshole at work that has everyone do his dirty work and then he takes all the credit and is rewarded the most. 

And then there is the fans. What a loathsome group of individuals. Their elitism needs to be knocked down a few notches. I can't stand the thought of Alabama or SEC being able to gloat once again about their superiority in college football. 

I'm rooting against Alabama and not for Notre Dame. As you should to because Saban winning another title will be unbearable. 


  1. I had a boss like Saban. Everyone did his dirty work, he took all the credit, and was a massive asshole. GO IRISH!

  2. You're right that Bama winning will only make the entire Finebaum nation even more insufferable.

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