Chip Kelly Won't Really Coach The Philadelphia Eagles Next Season- Chip was just trying to force Oregon to pick one fucking uniform for the entire season.
Lance Armstrong Isn't Really a Drug Cheat- The French just wanted Lance to cry on Oprah's couch.
Lane Kiffin Is Not Really The USC Coach- Kidding. This one is real and it's spectacular.
The BWAA Really Did Induct a Player Into the Baseball HOF- But that player was David Eckstein because gritty players would never take roids. Also his induction will be announced before the USA's first WBC game because Eckstein is a real American.
The Gold Club Never Happened- The players visiting that seedy strip club were really there to take dance lessons.
The Giants Never Beat The Patriots In Two Super Bowls- Whoops! This isn't a hoax even though Patriots fans would lead you to believe it's a hoax.
Ray Lewis Never Obstructed Justice- He was just trying to motivate the dead guys from inside his limo.
Tiger Never Cheated on Elin- He also created a fake girlfriends.
The San Francisco Giants Never Won Two Championships in Three Years- It was all one big hoax to make sabermetric nerds cry.
Notre Dame Was Duped- They never actually played in the national championship game this year.
(Update!) From my friend Angie: "Brett Hull didn't really have his foot in the crease" it was just an optical illusion.
(Update!) From my friend Angie: "Brett Hull didn't really have his foot in the crease" it was just an optical illusion.
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