The Doomed Shakespeare Character

I always have a certain sense of dread when I watch the Sacramento Kings. And why shouldn't I? The Kings have always been like a Shakespeare character that usually dies at the end of the play. Look at some of their moments: Robert Horry, Dick Bavetta calling fouls on the Kings left and right in game 6, Chris Webber blowing out his knee, Anthony Peeler being trolled enough by Kevin Garnett to derail a series, the Maloofs. I could go on and on but I think you get the point. The Kings are a doomed Shakespeare character.

When I watch the Kings today I get the feeling they're a mix of a Shakespearean doomed character along with being a Shakespearean idiot. They play like idiots (the point guards only have 20 assists so far this season and almost every player on that team is a ball-stopper that takes dumb shots) who are usually doomed by the ending.

Still though they are my team and I continue to watch no matter how painful always expecting the Shakespeare doomed ending. I know how the script is written but I always watch Romeo & Juliet.

On Wednesday the Kings were playing another bad team the Detroit Pistons. Unlike the Kings, Detroit doesn't even have a win on the season which isn't saying much since the Kings only have one victory on the year. Perfect time to watch my favorite Shakespeare characters at the Cantina.

When I arrived it was only The Colonel at the bar counter with a couple of other people at the tables. Slow night but what else is expected on a Wednesday night? When I arrived and said my hello's The Colonel was pounding the Boz over the head with this article suggesting Istanbul should be the capital of the world.

"Boz think about how great Istanbul would be as the world capital?" the Colonel says. "Who wouldn't like that?" I arrive just shaking my head. Here we go with the Colonel. The Ottoman Empire reconfigured.

"Can you talk to this guy for I don't have to listen to him," the Boz says to me.

"I think you have everything under control," I say knowing full well I don't want to get sucked into another Ottoman Empire lecture from the Colonel.

"Fine," the Colonel says. "You guys can just sit here and drink while I'm living in the capital of the World, Istanbul."

"That's just fine by me," the Boz says while taking my drink order. "Then I won't have to listen to these rants anymore."


The game is about to start so I start focusing on the TV hoping the Colonel doesn't suck me into the conversation. The game starts like any other Kings game, with the Kings playing sloppy offense and even worse defense. (Detroit would finish the night with over 50% from the field)

This is also my first real Kings game where I sit down and watch a full game. The first thing I notice is that Demarcus Cousins is noticeably skinnier this year. Cousins has always been the Pablo Sandoval of the Kings. Everyone says, "Man this guy could dominate if he lost weight". Well he lost the weight but he still gets sloppy during the game. And when I mean sloppy, I mean what Jerry Reynolds says about him "he needs to slow down and not get in a hurry to score in the post". Well one of the few times Cousins slows down the play leads to this.



Pretty impressive, right? Cousins would finish the night with 21 points, 11 rebounds, 2 steals, 1 turnover, 1,000 eye rolls at the officials. Okay I'm only part kidding about the last stat. Still that's an efficient night from Cousins and hopefully the Kings receive more of them from Cousins during the year.

These are still the Kings though and defense has been optional with this team for 4 years now. And of course it's optional tonight against the Pistons. Oh yeah, Kyle fucking Singler is destroying them.

"I fucking hate Kyle Singler," says the Colonel. And of course Singler is sweating like he's playing in a sauna with a leather jacket on. "We should frame him for murder, I could do it," says the Colonel who has thankfully moved on from Istanbul/capital of the world talk.

One positive from the night for the Kings is the bench play. Hell even Jimmer doesn't look like a scared 12-year old who just grabbed his first boob. Aaron Brooks and his weird shaped head even makes a couple of plays. Chuck Hayes looks a lot better this year. The Kings look good through 3 quarters, but the doomed portion of the play is upcoming.

The Kings start the 4th quarter like any other 4th quarter from the past 5 years. Sloppy offense, defense leaking like a sieve. It's disastrous and allowing the Pistons to get right back into the game.

"Same old Kings," says the Boz. And he's right. This is still the same old team. They obviously want to win, but they become over-anxious and become sloppy. They get sucked into opposing team drives to the basket and allow wide open shots that of course go in.

The Kings do enough to hold off the Pistons though and when I say the Kings I mean Marcus Thornton making every big shot there is to be made. It would be nice to someone besides Thornton making a shot down the stretch but we're talking about doomed characters again. Big shots usually lead to death.

And that's really the Kings in a nutshell. They have the talent. They have depth. They have youth. They also have a team full of doomed characters. When one of the characters decides he doesn't want to be doomed the team can succeed. When someone doesn't want to be a doomed character the Montague's and Capulet's (Kings fans) cry in agony over their losses.

"Well I can't say I have a good feeling about this team after that game," says the Colonel. And what Kings fan can admit "feeling good" after that game? The Pistons nearly came back on them. The Pistons shot over 50% from the field. A good team like the Lakers or Thunder would have easily demolished the Kings in the 4th quarter. We know how the play would have ended.