September 21, 2012

A Plea To Voters, Vote Jeff Francoeur For American League MVP

I bet Frenchy would be the NFL's greatest QB.
Everyone seems to agree that the American League MVP this year is coming down to either Miguel Cabrera and Mike Trout. Well I call bullshit on that idea. Jeff Francoeur of the Kansas City Royals should be this year's American League MVP and here are the reasons why.

Frenchy Has a -1.6 WAR: Do you know how hard it is to cost your team almost two wins? It's very hard. There are only 8 players in baseball with a negative WAR and Frenchy is number one. Frenchy is so good he has cost the Royals almost two victories! Take that Trout.

Frenchy Has a 70 wRC+: Frenchy's total offensive value is also dead last in the league. When are we going to appreciate a hitter that is below average at creating runs? When will the Jeff Francoeur's and Justin Smoak's of the world be appreciated for their offensive ineptness?

Frenchy Has a -3.1 BsR: I have no idea what BsR is I'm assuming it has something to do with base running because Yadi Molina and Buster Posey also have negative numbers in BsR. But once again Frenchy is in the negative for this category. Shouldn't Frenchy be appreciated for accumulating so many negatives? Why must you people keep him down?

Frenchy Has a .287 OBP: Once again Frenchy is at the league bottom in a category and this time it's the important stat of On-Base Percentage. Also once again Frenchy is well below average in a category. What more do you people need to vote for Frenchy? The man is terrible at reaching base!

Frenchy Is No Where Near The Lead in Strikeout Percentage: Click the link to the left. You'll see Frenchy is nowhere near the hacker like Adam Dunn, Mark Reynolds, or Drew Stubbs. That's right, Frenchy accumulates negative numbers the old fashion way. By grounding out and popping up or however Frenchy makes outs.
Frenchy is so good he has a third arm coming out of his ass.

Frenchy Has a .276 wOBA: According to Fangraphs, wOBA weighs everything a hitter does. A catch-all stat that batting average, slugging %, and OBP isn't. And guess who is near the bottom of the list in this category? You guess it, Frenchy. If it wasn't for Justin Smoak sucking the life out of Mariners fans, Frenchy would also be the league leader in this category. Fuck Smoak and his selfishness.

Frenchy has a -4.7 UZR: Yes Frenchy is as dedicated to being shitty in the field as he is at the plate. Dedication folks.

Frenchy Would Be 2nd On The Giants In Home Runs: Yes Jeff Francoeur would be second on a playoff-bound team in home runs. Brian Sabean would sign Frenchy to an extension right now just for his meager power.

And Finally Frenchy Has a .233 Batting Average: All you stat weenies complain that Batting Average is overvalued and shouldn't be used in a MVP discussion. Well I got news for you, Frenchy is batting a putrid .233. What the fuck else do you need to vote for this guy?

Seriously it's all there folks. Why appreciate the seasons Cabrera and Trout are having when Frenchy himself is having a historically awful great year? Go back and read the numbers. Frenchy is a negative in value, reaching base, base running, and UZR. And he's also below average in batting average and wOBA. But he would be 2nd in Home Runs on the playoff-bound San Francisco Giants. That's good enough for me to vote Frenchy the American League MVP* and should be good enough for you.

*If you don't vote for Frenchy, seriously consider voting for Seattle's Justin Smoak because his numbers are just as awful. Seriously folks, Justin Smoak sucks.

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