September 3, 2012

Talkin' Baseball: Don't Stop Believing In The Orioles & More

49er16: How about them Orioles?

The Colonel: My favorite part of the Orioles taking two out of three in New York was Mark "Strikeout" Reynolds crushing four home runs in both victories. It's like it's not bad enough the Yankees are fading hard, but they're getting beat by someone who swings more freely than a five-year old swinging at a pinata.

49er16: Age and injuries have finally bitten the Yankees in the ass. It amazed me all year how the age of the players wasn't a bigger deal. Then boom their older players besides Jeter have gotten hurt. And now they're trotting out players named Chris Dickerson.

The Colonel: And the thing is the way ARod has played this year, will he even make a difference when he returns? The AL East is going to be interesting to watch down the stretch. Two of those three teams will make the playoffs, but which ones?

49er16: They all have their problems to. Yankees = Injuries. Orioles = Bad pitching. Rays = Bad hitting. It's a mean race of the mediocre.

The Colonel: Nothing would make me happier though than the Yankees slipping out and the Rays and Orioles make the playoffs.


49er16: The Pirates :(

The Colonel: That's what the Orioles are here for.

49er16: Right. How about that race for the last wild card spot in the national league? Exciting stuff.

The Colonel: Watching that race is for a nihilist. It's like you shouldn't be watching, but you do and feel like crap afterwards.

49er16: Who's the gimp? Josh Beckett?

The Colonel: I could see Beckett standing there with a S&M mask on holding a bucket of chicken and six pack of Natty Light while Stan Kasten and Magic Johnson decide who to ass rape on the Cardinals.

49er16: What's the race for the AL Central then?

The Colonel: That's a cockfight. Immoral, disgusting, and should be banned in all 50 states.

49er16: Going back to the AL Wild Card, how about them A's? They're only 3 games out of first in the AL West. They might not even have to worry about fighting for a wild card spot.

The Colonel: I particularly enjoyed them dropping 20 runs on the Red Sox and then sweeping them. The A's have just owned the AL East this year. Just owned them. I'm pretty sure the A's would have the best record in baseball if they played in the AL East.

49er16: Did you see the Astros hired Baseball Prospectus minor league/prospects guru Kevin Goldstein? And yet Keith Law, who has worked for the Toronto Blue Jays, is still stuck in hell known as ESPN.

The Colonel: I like that teams are plucking writers off the Internet and handing them jobs in their organization. Imagine if more blog writers got hired?

49er16: Imagine the slideshows if a team hired a Bleacher Report writer?

The Colonel: Watch our 50 page slideshow about why Tim Tebow should be the Jets starting QB!

49er16: That would be Skip Bayless' slideshow. I'm talking about imagining if a Deadspin writer was hired? How many pictures of dongs would that person acquire.

The Colonel: Deadspin's fascination with posting athletes dongs is amazing. But hey at least they don't hate men like the gals over at Jezebel.

49er16: Did you see Rangers superstar prospect Jurickson Profar made his debut yesterday. We need more players named Jurickson.

The Colonel: Profar sounds like a fancy yogurt you can buy at a fancy Health food grocery store. Um yeah, I'll take some organic tomatoes, pasta, and Greek Profar.

49er16: Jurickson though was totally overshadowed by Xavier Nady's Giants debut.

The Colonel: The sad thing about Nady is he'll have twice as long of a leash than Blanco or Brandon Belt. If he struggles Bochy will just keep him playing. "Vets gotta play until they right the ship" or some shit like that he'll say about Nady, but not Belt.

49er16: My new favorite Bochism against Belt is that Belt doesn't hit enough home runs. Um Bruce, no one on the Giants hits home runs. No one. Not even Sandoval this year.

The Colonel: Bochy's Belt-Rage is like something right out of high school. It's like Belt stole his girlfriend or something but Bochy can control who plays or not, so every opportunity he can he will bench Belt.

49er16: BOCHY IS A MEAN GIRL!

2 comments:

  1. Bochy benching one of his better hitters is so Bochy of him.

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