49er16: So I sat next to Houston Astros pitcher Bud Norris' parents during the Giants-Astros game on Sunday. The mother seemed really cool, but the father seemed a little angry.
The Colonel: I have never sat by the parents or spouse of a MLB player. That must have been exciting.
49er16: It was really exciting when the father went on a epic rant after a Astros base running error on how bad the Astros coaching staff really is. I wasn't sure if I was actually sitting next to the parents of a little league player.
The Colonel: Haha. I bet he was like, "This coach is stupid. Bud is the greatest pitcher in the entire world and the coach has no idea what he's doing with a talent like that!"
49er16: Not exactly like that but close. The mother did complain about the Astros trotting out a catcher who was making his debut catching for her son. It was great. When Norris left the game in the 7th they both left.
The Colonel: You should have been like, "MATT CAIN RULES! BUD NORRIS SUCKS!"
49er16: If the mother wasn't a nice person I probably would have.
The Colonel: I would have done that regardless, but I'm an asshole.
49er16: Did you see that play that gave the Padres the lead and eventual victory on Saturday night? Thank you Dodgers for goofing up and making the Giants goof up look good in comparison.
49er16: Even better. The Dodgers committed 5 errors (including two throwing errors by Jarry Hairston Jr!) on Sunday and are now looking up at the Giants again in the standings. Great job guys.
The Colonel: The Padres weren't much better committing two fielding errors. A comedy of errors should be the name now on for Dodgers-Padres games.
49er16: Did you see the two colossal douches Bryce Harper and Ozzie Guillen got into on Sunday. Via the AP, here's the details of the incident:
"Guillen exchanged words with Harper in the fourth inning during his second at-bat after Harper pointed a bat in his direction. Following Harper's first at-bat, Guillen informed Nationals third base coach Bo Porter, as opposed to an umpire, about the possibility of Harper's bat exceeding rules regarding pine tar. Guillen was not happy at Harper's gesture in his next at-bat and planned to talk to Johnson following the game. ''I've been praising this kid the last three times they've asked me about him, he's a great player,'' Guillen said. ''What he did today was unprofessional.'' Harper said: ''I switched bats, but it wasn't much different from the first one.'"
The atmosphere can't handle the douche of these two individuals. This is a proven fact.
The Colonel: Is this where we're suppose to compare Harper to George Brett and Guillen to Billy Martin? Because I'd rather not. Neither of these men are worth the comparison yet.
49er16: This was the extremely poor man's version of the Pine Tar incident.
The Colonel: I don't even want to say that. Let's just move on before my head explodes and my eyes fall into shot glasses.
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| That's clown tar, bro. |
49er16: My team the Pirates didn't have a good weekend in Milwaukee and are now one game back of the Reds in the central after the Reds swept the Cards. Should I begin funeral arrangements for the Pirates now?
The Colonel: Not yet, but I would start looking for nice suits to put their bodies in and maybe the caskets.
49er16: The Pirates already lost Mark Appel, I'm afraid they're going to do something stupid and trade one of their stud pitchers for some crappy player. You just know they're going to hot shot this thing.
The Colonel: I would laugh if they traded one of their pitching studs for let's say Shane Victorino or Carlos Quintin. I doubt this will happen but you never know with a desperate team like the Pirates trying to reach the playoffs for the first time in forever.
49er16: That's what scares me! JUST SAY NO PIRATES!
The Colonel: Did you see the Rays lose two out of three to Boston this weekend? THIS IS ALL A PART OF MADDON'S MASTER PLAN! THE MAN IS GENIUS! A EVIL GENIUS! AND A PART OF HIS EVIL GENIUS IS TO LOSE TO THE RED SOX AND GET PEPOPLE THINKING THE RED SOX ARE BACK AND THE RAYS ARE DEAD! WHAT A GENIUS.
49er16: HE MEANT TO LOSE THOSE GAMES TO THE RED SOX. WE AT FANGRAPHS SUPPORT THIS IDEA AND FULLY ENDORSE IT BECAUSE MADDON HAS FORGOTTEN MORE ABOUT BASEBALL THAN EARL WEAVER, SPARKY ANDERSON, AND JOE TORRE EVER KNEW!
The Colonel: EARL WEAVER ISN'T EVEN PRIVILEGED ENOUGH TO HOLD MADDON'S GENIUS GLASSES!
49er16: If I had to give advice to Bobby Valentine it would include these words, "Shut up Bobby. You're making it worse."
The Colonel: Let me translate those quotes for Bobby V for everyone: "Kevin Youkilis is a fucking bitch. Yeah I talked some crap about him and said his head isn't in the game. He didn't have to take that personally. Fuck him. And oh yeah. Everything that is wrong with the Red Sox this year isn't my fault. It's that bald fuck Terry Francona's fault."
49er16: Bobby V must be a democrat because nothing is his fault. "IT'S THAT GUY'S FAULT! NOTHING TO SEE HERE!"
The Colonel: "What do you mean this is my fault????? The previous guy was just the worse. His fault."
49er16: Did you see Ben Sheets pitched yesterday for the Braves and actually pitched well? When does his arm fall apart?
The Colonel: Ben Sheets gives me hope Mark Prior and Jesse Foppert can come back to the big leagues. I do love how everyone is like, "OMG! Ben Sheets should be given the comeback player of the year after one start."
49er16: Jeez this new CBA in baseball is great. Not only has it screwed up the draft, but it has teams terrified from making trades. Success baseball!
The Colonel: Well actually this is probably a good thing. Stops teams from trading away their farm for fringe players like Casey Blake. LOL DODGERS.
49er16: And that's a bad thing. I want to see Agent Ned trade the next Carlos Santana for someone like Ryan Dempster or Matt Garza. Damn you MLBPA for signing this new CBA!
The Colonel: God bless Agent Ned. It's not like the Dodgers could use Carlos Santana right now.
The world can't handle the douche of Harper and Guillen.
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