What I Would Do If I Owned the Yankees

The New York Daily News is reporting the Steinbrenner family is looking to sell the New York Yankees. Of course they have already denied this story. Let's not let the denial stop us from pretending we own the New York Yankees. Here's a list of what I would do if I owned the Yankees.

- First thing I would do is remove that ridiculous plaque of George Steinbrenner in centerfield. I guess we should have expected the Steinbrenner family would go overboard with the plaque to the Boss, but seriously that thing is way over the top. George Steinbrenner should not have a bigger plaque than Babe Ruth and Joe DiMaggio.

- Next I would replace Michael Kay on the Yes Network with Ian Eagle. I don't care if Eagle has never watched a baseball game in his life. Anything but Kay.

- To create extra revenue, I would start a Broadway type of play at Yankee Stadium with ARod was the main attraction. Don't act like ARod has never wanted to star on Broadway.

- Our first giveaway promotion would be an exact replica of the gift package Jeter gives to his "conquests".

- Pay Yogi Berra to be a Wal-Mart type of greater at the main gate of Yankee Stadium.

- Order a hit on Peter Angelos for kt1000.

- Howard Spira Dirt day

- Richie Garcia Appreciation Day

- Destroy all tapes of the "Bronx is Burning"