Talkin' Baseball: Baseball Songs, O's, Post Game Radio Callers

49er16: Don't you wish more singers who produced music for sports was as smooth as Terry Cashman's 'Talkin' Baseball'?

The Colonel: I do. All of Cashman's team songs are great. Much better to listen to than this God-awful Marlins song or the even worse broheem Scott Stapp Marlins song. I mean seriously what is Stapp thinking when he produced this crap song?

49er16: Stapp must have been like "Everyone will love this and this will be played throughout the stadium after every play." I gotta give Stapp credit though, his song produced one of the better Jim Rome takes in a long time.

The Colonel: Alright let's talk about actual baseball. We're a panic society, so I have to ask. Are you worried about your Baltimore Orioles yet? I would be worried.

49er16: I'm not jumping off the O's bandwagon yet, but I would be lying if I said I'm not worried about their pitching staff. Brian Matusz is the only starting pitcher on that staff that has a normal BABIP while the rest of them have incredibly low BABIP. That scares me a lot because it reminds me of the Pittsburgh Pirates rotation from last year and we all know what happened to them.

The Colonel: I figured you start coming around when you realized the Orioles starting pitchers are Tommy Hunter, Jason Hammel, and Brian Matusz. I do like their lineup though with Wieters, Jones, and Hardy. Markakis should also start producing soon because his BABIP is also low. Also I don't think anyone in the AL East are going to run away with that division.

49er16: Agreed. The O's have the lineup to compete and maybe they'll call up Dylan Bundy to screw him up anchor the top of the rotation. The Rays and Yankees have injury problems, the Blue Jays look like they're a year away and the Red Sox are a mess. Weird year in the AL East could possibly mean a Orioles division title.

The Colonel: I can already see Peter Angelos raising the O's division champs flag next opening day!


49er16: I was listening to the A's postgame show last night with Chris Townsend and A's fans have already been sucked into the Brandon Inge vortex. I can see my friend RJBO with an evil grin saying, "Good. Good. Let the false hope flow through you."

The Colonel: Almost nothing gives me more pleasure than listening to sports talk shows after baseball games. There's a weird combination of unemployed, stoners, and drunks who call into those shows and say dumb shit like, "BRANDON INGE IS THE GREATEST A'S THIRD BASEMAN SINCE CARNEY LANSFORD!"

49er16: "BRETT PILL IS THE NEXT KEVIN MITCHELL AND WILL CLARK! HE NEEDS TO PLAY EVERYDAY! DID YOU SEE HIM HIT THAT CLAYTON KERSHAW RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLATE FASTBALL FOR A HOME RUN????"

The Colonel: "THE GIANTS DON'T NEED A HIGH OBP PLAYER LIKE BRANDON BELT AT FIRST! THEY NEED A POWER HITTER WHO TAKES CLAYTON KERSHAW DEEP! PLAY PILL EVERYDAY!"

49er16: Going back to Carney Lansford, why didn't he play himself in 'Angels in the Outfield'? Why did they have to give him the name Kit "Hit or Die" Kesey?

The Colonel: I don't know, but I will say that's a fucking awesome name. Kit "Hit or Die" Kesey. Could any player of anytime have a nickname like "Hit or Die"? Would the PC crowd allow anyone to be called "Hit or Die"? And who could really pull off the "Hit or Die" nickname?

49er16: Yes, No, Bryce Harper.

The Colonel: Oh good point. I could see a douche like Harper having a nickname like that. And instead of tattooing "Hit or Die" on his forearm, it would be on the back of his arm is black and red.

49er16: Speaking of Harper, you gotta love MLB for suspending Hamels for his honesty. "Okay old school baseball player here's a nice 5 day paid vacation for honesty! Now go and sit in a corner and think about what you did!"

The Colonel: I loved the Washington's GM response to Hamels even more. This whole episode was a Russian douchlette between Hamels, Harper, and Rizzo. I'm surprised the Earth didn't swallow all three of them up after this whole thing went down.

49er16: Earth: "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET INTO THIS HOLE! GET IN HERE AS WELL SELIG."

The Colonel: Just thinking about those three are giving me the chills. I need another drink.

49er16: I do as well.