Darth Lord Goodell Suspends Alex Smith for Jaywalking

While everyone is up in arms about the NFL suspending former Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor for five games for his sins while at Ohio State, everyone is overlooking the fact that the NFL also suspended San Francisco 49ers QB Alex Smith for Jaywalking. The statement from Commissioner Roger Goodell,

"The NFL is severely disappointed in Mr. Smith for blatantly breaking the law by jaywalking. Sure he was never ticketed or arrested by the police but we won't stand for it. The NFL is a anti-Jaywalking league and Mr. Smith will pay the consequences for his actions. So he'll be suspended for the entire 2011 season." 

What an outrage! Roger Goodell is blatantly using his dictator powers to punish Alex Smith for a crime the law was never going to punish him for! Goodell is like Putin! He uses his power arbitrary and capriciously as long as everyone goes along with the plan!

If we're not careful as a country, Goodell could Coup d'etat the government and suspend the entire country from drinking 2% milk. That's been the plan all along! Goodell is anti-2% milk. Drink Whole Milk and don't jaywalk under the Darth Lord Goodell's Empire!