The Price Is Wrong

"mets interested in belt, wheeler or gary brown from #sfgiants, dom brown from #phillies. #braves also have prospects."- Jon Heyman

To quote Bob Barker in 'Happy Gilmore', "I don't want a piece of you, I want the whole thing." And that's exactly what the New York Mets are telling everyone in the league who is interested in Carlos Beltran.

"You want Beltran, Phillies? Give us Dom Brown, Roy Halladay, and Chase Utley. And while you're at it, pay their contracts as well."

"You want Beltran, Giants? Give us Belt, Wheeler, Gary Brown, Willie Mays (Oops, this already happened), Barry Bonds, and Will Clark."

It's absurd what the Mets are asking for just for a rental player like Beltran. The Mets though can screw around with teams like the Giants and Phillies because they know the trade deadline is still nine days away and teams like the Giants are desperate for offense.

I'm sure some sucker like the Giants or Phillies will overpay for Beltran, maybe not Dom Brown or Brandon Belt overpay, but they'll give up a group of prospects for a three month rental. The Mets themselves will be desperate to get rid of Beltran because they won't receive a draft pick for him if he leaves for free agency.

And that's why I've always been fascinated with the MLB trade deadline more so than the NBA deadline. In baseball teams have to trade prospects because they can't trade draft choices. Also unlike basketball, baseball doesn't have to match contracts. So you have baseball teams playing a game of chicken until the last possible second to make a deal.

Stay tuned folks because there are nine days left of crazy trade rumors. I can't wait for the Dom Brown for Albert Pujols rumor.

A big story this week has been the extreme heat in the Midwest and east coast. The weather here on the west coast for the past two summers has been mild with a couple of weeks of 100 degree heat. The Colonel and I reconvened at the Mos Eisley Cantina to discuss the Giants-Brewers game and the heatwave over Old Fashions and burgers.


"This heatwave on the east coast and Midwest has me thinking," I say. "What kind of weather do you prefer? I can't stand the heat we get here. And it's a dry heat. We don't get the humidity like everyone gets east of the Rockies."

"Well I grew up in Fresno," says the Colonel. "So I'm used to the extreme heat. I'm with you though. I can handle dry heat. The humidity would drive me nuts. When I was attending school in Virginia, it would be so humid that you would take a shower and immediately start sweating again. It was awful."

"I experienced the same thing when I visited relatives in Texas and Missouri," I say. "Your sweat is sweating. It's disgusting. I don't think I could live anywhere east of the Rockies."

"Every area has their own patterns of weather that I'm sure makes people wonder why the hell they would live there," says the Colonel. "For example I lived in Seattle for a couple of years out of college before moving here. Seattle is as advertised. It rains almost non-stop from October through April with the occasional snow fall. I didn't mind the rain, but I understand why people wouldn't want to live there. That being said, I have no idea why you would want to live east of the Rockies. The weather can be extreme. It's either extremely hot or extremely cold."

"Exactly," I say. "People give this area a lot of shit, but I'd much rather live here because of the weather than a place like DC or Dallas."

"Yes," says the Colonel. "We actually have seasons here. It's cold in the winter. Hot in the summer. Mild in the fall and spring with rain. I'd rather live here purely for the weather than anywhere else in the states."

"Agreed," I say.

Joe West's strike zone everybody!

The conversation moves on from the weather to bad umpiring. Specifically Joe West. There's no details needed, Joe West is the worst umpire in baseball.

"Joe West's strike zone is atrocious," I say. (The picture above was Aubrey Huff's strike zone in the fourth inning.) "Is there a worst umpire than him? Sure Bob Davidson and Phil Cuzzi are bad, but West has to be the worst. His strike zone is terrible and he usually at one point in the game will make the game about himself."

"I'm just thankful baseball split him up with Angel Hernandez," says the Colonel. "Both of them together was a train wreck. Baseball wised up by splitting up the two biggest egos in the umpiring circles."

"The disappointing thing to me is that his union backs him up," I say. "That's why I've never been a fan of unions. They protect the lazy and entitled like Joe West. So baseball can't do anything to Joe West because he's protected by the union."

"I've been saying that years now," says the Colonel. "It's the reason why I don't feel sorry for these teaching unions getting their collective bargaining rights ripped from them. Once these teachers reach tenure, they immediately become lazy. That's why I would send my kids to a private school. Hell even politicians are sending their kids to private schools because they know how bad public school teachers are."

"Back to the point," I say. "Baseball to me doesn't need replay as badly as they need to put an age limit on these umpires. You look at the worst umpires and they're all over the age of 55. I would set a mandatory age limit for these guys to retire."

"That's a nice pipe dream, but that's all what it is a dream," says the Colonel. "That would have to be bargained for and the umpire union would never go for that."

And just like that the Colonel deflates the room by being Debbie Downer. We polish off our Old Fashions, say our goodbyes, and head home. Just another night at the Mos Eisley Cantina.