Fathers, Fireworks & Booze

"Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company."- George Washington

Yesterday I had to work during the 4th of July. I didn't care since I've had to work on the 4th of July before and I already enjoyed the first two days of the weekend with my family. So working on the 4th didn't really bother me. I also knew I would get about an three hour break from work before I had to go and cover the annual fireworks show at the local fairgrounds.

I implicitly planned my three hour break around the Giants of course for I could watch the game at the Mos Eisley Cantina with the usual crew. And sure enough I arrived and everyone was sitting in their usual places.

"Want a beer?" asks the Colonel, who surprisingly isn't wearing white today. The Colonel is actually dressed in shorts and a red shirt which is discerning because I've never seen him without a white suit on.

"You're not wearing a white suite today?" I ask curiously.

"Nah. I'm relaxing today, enjoying the Boz's barbeque ribs and enjoying this Blue Moon Summer Wheat," quips the Colonel. "I'll be back in white tomorrow. Why?"

"I've just never seen you without a white suit on," I say. "It's weird looking at you today."

"You've just never seen me outside of this bar after work," says the Colonel. The Colonel then orders another Blue Moon Summer Wheat, and I order a Pepsi and the Boz's barbeque ribs. No drinking tonight for me because I have to return to work.

The Giants have returned from their Chicago/Detroit road trip to face off against the San Diego Padres Fathers. Needless to say I'm anticipating this game for a couple of reasons. 1. Lincecum starts today and he's always a must see, 2. The Padres flat out own the Giants. Just own the Giants.

I don't know how else to describe this, but the Padres just wear out the Giants. Since last season, the Padres wear out the Giants with dink and dunk hits that always find the smallest crease in the defense or somehow strategically bloops between the infielder and the outfielder. Then the Padres drive in those runs by hitting sac fly's or by continuing to dink and dunk the Giants to death. That's how the Padres had a winning record over the Giants last year, including one victory where the Giants threw a 1-hitter and still lost.


And while the Padres hitters wear out the Giants pitchers and defense, the Padres pitchers dominate the Giants hitters. Just dominate. The Giants have no problems against the likes of Halladay or Lee, but the Padres pitchers dominate the Giants like they are Bob Gibson, Sandy Koufax, and Walter Johnson combined. 

So yes the Padres make me nervous even though they're terrible this season. Throw in the fact that the Giants remaining schedule is played 40% against the Padres and I have a reason to be nervous. The Padres wear out the Giants. No Giants fan can dispute this fact.

Sure enough my worst fears are confirmed in the first inning. The Padres dink and dunk Lincecum to death in the first inning scoring two runs. And sure enough Padres pitcher Clayton Richard, who is the definition of mediocrity, dominates the Giants hitters. Different year, same Padres over Giants dominance.

"Sure. The day I can't have a drink in here, I need one," I say.

"I can't believe the Giants have only faced the Padres twice up to this point," says the Colonel. "I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that the Padres are going to be the downfall of the Giants this season. They're going to get their revenge for last season."

"I have the same feeling. The Giants play 40% of their remaining schedule with the Padres including 7 of their next 11 games," I say. "I'll be happy if the Giants win 20% of those games."

"Here! Here! At least the Panda continues to hit," says the Colonel as the Panda hit another extra base hit, his ninth straight game with an extra base hit.

"It's too bad the Panda is the only redeemable hitter on this team. I would give my left nut for at least one more hitter who can hit home runs and drive in runs," quips the Bandit who is drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon and is chowing down barbeque ribs.

"I would take Jason Bartlett off the Padres in a second," I say. "Crawford and Tejada have been hitting better lately, but the Giants still need a middle infielder who can consistently get on base."

"Yep. Oh look, the Padres are dinking and dunking the Giants again," says the Colonel.

Of course the Giants would go on to lose. It's their story against the Padres, frustrating. They can't lose by giving up a couple of home runs. No. That's quick and painless. The Padres have to beat the Giants by strapping them to a table and taking a scalpel and carefully removing their vital organs like Hannibal Lector. Keeping the Giants live long enough to see them remove their hearts before they slowly die. Oh yeah, I'm going to enjoy the Giants remaining schedule and the 40% of it against the Fathers.

"Whelp, I have to go. The fireworks and fair await. Cheers boys," I say.

"Have fun," the Colonel and Bandit say simultaneously with a sarcastic smiles on their face knowing that I'm pissed because I didn't have a drink and the Giants lost.

Just another day at the Mos Eisley Cantina.