June 24, 2009

Word of the Day: Milton

Milton, noun: An baseball player who is inherently insane.

Usage Example: Jose Guillen is an Milton.

Word History: Of course this word of the day is named after Mt. Milton Bradley. Not the board game maker, the baseball player. Good ole Milton is flat out insane. His blowups are legendary and well talked about. Let's take a look at them.

- While with the Los Angeles Dodgers, Milton blew up at an umpire and threw a bag of baseball's on the field.

- While with the San Diego Padres, Milton blew out his knee arguing with an ump and was out for the season. This was a crucial injury to the Padres because they blew their lead to the Colorado Rockies and eventually lost out on a spot in the playoffs after that memorable one-game playoff.

- Last season while with the Kansas City, Milton attempted to confront the Royals tv announcer. He was eventually stopped in the locker room.

There are so many Milton Bradley meltdowns that I couldn't possibly list them all.

Characteristics of an Milton: There are characteristics of an player you have to look at to decide whether or not, that player is an Milton.

1) How many teams have they been on? Milton has been on seven teams in his nine year career.

2) How long they are with a team. Milton has never been on a team longer than two years.

3) How often do they have a meltdown? Bradley himself has at least one good meltdown a year.

4) Has to of been injured in a strange or weird way. See above for Bradley. My favorite though is another famous Milton, Jose Guillen. Jose decided to remove an ingrown toenail by himself. Needless to say he injured himself and had to sit out a couple of days. The best though is his description of removing the toenail.

"The doctor saw me (Wednesday)," Guillen said, "and he said we’ll see how it feels in the morning. If it wasn't any better, he wanted me to have surgery. I thought, 'Whoaaa.'

"So I went on my own (Wednesday) to the pharmacy, got some tweezers, came home and pulled it out myself. Let me tell you, I cried. I had one tough hour. But I got it out."
5) Has to of had a run-in with a manager. Guillen most famously clashed with Angels manager Mike Scioscia in 2004. And of course Milton himself has had run-ins with his managers over the years.

There are several Miltons playing baseball today. Carlos Zambrano, Kyle Farnsworth, and Brett Myers immediately come to mind. Who's your favorite Milton?

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